Believe to Achieve

Marathon cleaning and workout day!!  I just can't stop when I get on a roll!!  Yesterday I decided I needed to involve my kids in some Spring cleaning.  Sorry FRBs that my house was not clean for you when you visited.  I mean the cleaning was deep cleaning--- baseboards, light fixtures, appliances, drawers cleaned out and vaccumed, floor washed, windows washed.  YUP the whole enchilada.  Even the walls and anywhere else dust can harbor.  We only did the main floor.  Next week or so we will do the top floor.  The basement only needs to be vaccumed since it is fairly new, two years).  Troy put it in himself :D.  Anyway....I started early by getting myself over the rec center in PG onto the TM.  Jason (an ol' ragnar teammate) showed and made my warm up not so boring.  I ran 3 miles at 8:41 to 8:57 pace (all at 1% even the SW).  Got off the mill and pottied and stretched briefly.  Ran 1/2 mile more and went right into my Lactate threshold run--  1 mile by 10k pace (6:22) and then 2 miles at MP (supposed to be 7:04-7:07 but thought that would be way too easy so ran 1 @ 6:53 and 1 @ 6:49.  Despite the OBVIOUS shaking TM (Jason even commented) it felt really good.  I thought I could possibly run three sets.  But I got the notion to switch TMs so I wouldn't have to have deal with the shaking and for some reason not shaking was much harder.  I still had it 1% and that 6:22 mile was killing me.   I ran 1/2 mile recovery in between sets at 8:27 but that didn't seem to help.  I hung on knowing I would be slowing soon.  But when  I got to the second mile and got to decrease the pace to 6:53 that just didn't seem like enough.  I seriously felt like this mill was on a different pace or incline then the other.  I could tell there was an incline and it felt way too noticeable.  I eventually decreased the incline to 0 for a lap then back up to 0.5 percent.  I even had to put the pace back to 7:03 for two laps then to 6:58 for two then 6:53 for one and 6:49 for the final lap.  I should have just stayed at true MP.  Lactate threshold was NOT good for my heart.  My legs felt great but it was my HR that was soaring!!!  It reminded me of what happened to me at SGM right after climbing Veyo.  My HR just could not come down until about mile 24!!!  I have noticed that after workouts lately that my heart is doing the SVT thing again that I used to get through pregnancy and post partum.   It was still up an hour later!!!!    I think I might be eating something that is stimulating my HR.  Not sure what it is.  But it was my diet that cured me from this problem before.  I am also up 5 pounds from two years ago.   And I am faster now, so that is funny!!    I ran the exact same amount of time for both sets-- 1/2 mile warmup, 1 x 1600, 2 x 3200, 1/4 mile recovery (3.75 miles in 26:25).....second TM  1/4 mile recovery, 1 x1600, 2 x 3200, 1/2 mile cooldown (3.75 miles in 26:25).  Ran another 1.5 miles easy at about 8:27 AP, 1 % incline.  Went home and got the girls moving to help me clean as I wrote about above.  Went visiting teaching and was visit taught from 11 to 12pm.  Got back and my husband had helped the girls finish up the windows and clean the floor.  I cleaned for 1.5 hours more, the walls and light fixtures and other odds and ends--- the mother's white glove test, you know.  Just ate two pieces of lasagna I made last night.   Still hungry.   BTW-  foot was killing me during the warmup but it worked itself out by the end.  My foot began to act up when  I started running in my Brooks Pureflow.  Will I ever find the perfect shoe?? I wore my Altras today.  They always feel great on the TM.  There is a new model coming out with more cushion called the Provisioness-- gonna half to try it out!! 

Up late last night and then had to work at UVRMC NICU-- 25 minute drive so had to wake 25 minutes earlier to run and that just wasn't going  to happen with turning off lights after 11pm.  Long shift.  Then managed to drag myself to the gym at 7pm for 8 very slow miles at 1% incline-- 8:57 x 2, 8:49, 8:41 x 2, 8:34 x 1, 8:27 x 2.  Didn't have music with me.  Forgot it when  I brought my clothes to work with me.  The rec is on the way home.  Was quite overstimulated.  I am NOT an evening runner AT ALL.  It doesn't even feel normal.  Legs feel lard like and my stomach does not like the jarring after eating all day.  But it felt better than most of my evening runs so that was a plus.  It is nights like this that I miss my morning run that DRIVES me to get out of my bed in the morning early.  Now that feels normal!!  AP-- 8:37 for 8 miles. 

Look at my pathetic hours of sleep, last night and the night before.  And working two 13 hour shifts in a row and running 16 miles within an 8 hour period-- 7 pm  to 8am Tuesday and 420am Wednesday.    Not sleeping well.  But surprisingly my easy run turned progressive and my legs felt much fresher.  Started with an opening 8:52 mile that I thought for sure was a 9:45 pace.  Kept my pace in hide mode but would look at my mile splits as my garmin beeped.  Mile 5 was 7:35.  Ooops.  Toned it down and until the finish when  I did 5 x 0.1 mile strides at about 6:15 pace (I think by the effort).  Ran 0.1 miles in between.  Felt nice out there this morning.  Almost spring like.  I am trying to remember that I used to run fast.  And I used to run injury free.  Hope to be there again.  Stupid heel!!  But IT DID NOT HURT IN MY RUN TODAY.  I am babying it.  No walking around barefoot.   Altras only for speedwork.  And no long runs with my pureflows.   I am on a quest for the perfect running shoe to train in tomorrow.  I am going to try on pair after pair after pair then make a decision.  AP for an easy run = 7:56.  So glad it felt easy today.

Totally had an anxiety attack---  could not fall to sleep for the life of me.  I would drift then wake back up.  Toss and Turn all night.  It was very anxiety producing.  Something hormonal this way comes!!  I have been depressed lately.  Not from anything particular.  I want to feel good, I want to feel "happy" but I am like "blah".  It feels chemical and not situational.   Like if even I tried to be upbeat my body and mind are not listening.   I haven't felt this way (and I am not at that intensity yet thank goodness) since having my last baby, who is now 9 years old.  I went through severe post partum depression.  Enough to NEVER wind up pregnant again.  It scared me a great deal.  Not good.  It lasted over a year and half.  Wow.  That was a nightmare.  My poor baby!!   But she was part to blame.  I went back to work fulltime after 12 weeks and she WOULD NOT TAKE A BOTTLE!!!  NOPE, she would starve herself all day (13 hours, sometimes Troy out of desperation and if I had time, would bring Amber into me so I could feed her).  Basically she would make up for lost nursing time by eating all night which led to chronic sleep deprivation which led to the depression.  So here I am all sleep deprived again.   But my brain just won't relax.  I have some work decisions to make and some financial things to work out and obviously it is making me stressed by showing up in me physically in my runs and sleeping.   YOGA MOMENT please!!  I clean when I am stressed.  Hence the marathon cleaning day last Monday.   I think I will try to take a nap because three nights of 4-5 hours of sleep, running and working 26 hours in two days is not helping.  I did manage to get my butt out the door and got to the rec center by 6am and ran 12 miles.  I ran a ridiculous routine of 1 min on/ 1 min offs x a few.  Pace quick and rest pace at 6.7 mph.  Incline for warmup and cooldown at 1%.  Incline for SW 0.5 percent.   I had to change treadmills after I did several.  I should have changed after the first one but I wanted to get off the mill on an even number.  The TM I was on first, shook even more than the one I had on Monday.  It was as if  I was trail running.  Seriously.  The second TM was a little better but still shook.  I ran my "on" paces exactly one minute.  My "off" minutes were really only 40 to 45 seconds.  I would start upping the pace 10 seconds before the minute and make sure that as soon as it got up to pace  I stayed there for 60 seconds.  It would take 8 seconds to get back to the easy pace.  My legs didn't quite like going fast.  My muscles were pretty tight.  And for the warmup my HEEL and partly my achilles was quite painful.  It went away after the second warmup mile.  Thankful for endorphins because the pain is back and it hurts to step on my heel.   Did some planking and pushups when I got home.  Nothing big-- following the pushup program again, taking the baby step approach-- 6,6,4,7,7.  60 second rest in between.   I could start in the last column which is harder but  I don't have the desire to.   I am going to go slow to NOT freak my body out.  Enough already :D.   Don't worry FRB I will turn this around somehow!!  :D

After yesterdays second SW of the week running a number of on/offs at a brisk pace my legs were not feeling the love today.  So plan was to run 20 miles VERY slowly (pretty much a RECOVERY RUN for 20 miles if there should be such a thing).  Turtle speed if  I wanted.  I thought about doing a five mile route 4 times so  I could stop and get fuel but somehow I managed to "run" away from that thought.  I ran a pretty tough hilly 20 miler starting out on 1100 north to Canyon road  and on up 600 west to the Farm Rd.  Even though I was running slow I was parched.  No water.  I hoped there would be a water left from our 20 miler last Saturday (no such luck).  My quads were sore from yesterday.  And  I know I was dehydrated and under fueled yesterday for this run as Troy was staining our banister for the basement and it made me psycho all day from the smell.     Headache and dizzy and moody.   I barely ate anything.  The smell in my kitchen (where he was staining) made me lose my appetite.  I would try to eat something and think it had metal in it or was moldy and would throw it out.  I felt like I was eating the stain.  During my run I could feel my lack of hydration but I am pretty strong and didn't need to stop until mile 12 (which ironically fell at the Eternal Fountain in Alpine, but I was running in the opposite direction).  I ran up Farm Rd to the top (steep grade) and on up the hills to the mouth of AF canyon and on to the trail to our water stop last week which was mile 16 then but mile 8 now.  Okay....so here's the thing....I was really going to stick to the easy/RECOVERY part-- never go under a 8:30 pace but it naturally occured and more so when a woman (I say woman because I am sure she was as old as I) passed me and nodded.  I didn't want to be competitive but  I was running rather slow.  Well I certainly couldn't let her think I was out running some 5 miler slowly....so I kept up behind and funny as it was she was running the same direction into Alpine and up those hills (close to Healey Dr.).  I chose to avoid Healey Hills since I was overdoing it anyway but took the next road north which headed East over to the same road Healey connects with.  It was very scenic.  I ran the exact course of our miles 12-14 in reverse.  It is funny how you notice different things in reverse.  On 300 north in Alpine I looked south at an intersection there and saw this AMAZING INCLINE OF A HILL!!!  Holy Flip  I said to myself... I was going to come back to it on RESTED legs I told myself.  And FRB is thankful  I did NOT put that on our 20 miler.  It was like Heartbreak hill x 4!!!!  I got to the eternal water thankful for my first STOP in the run.   I tried hard to suck water from the dripping fountain-- where is the pressure??? oh the pipe is leaking.     Oh well.  I got maybe 4 ounces.  It was like sipping through a tiny straw.  I then headed south and took the circle veering to the right and headed down Alpine Highway but adding on through a neighborhood there.  I was getting really hungry.  LOW AND BEHOLD MY WATER I left at mile 4  at  last week 20miler was still at the stop sign.  I am sure no one picks up garbage there so it was safe to assume it could be there and it was!!! I gulped and gulped.  There was a guy running and had stopped at that exact corner to rest.  I told him--- with exuberance how happy I was my water from last week was still there!!  Oh the joys of long runs alone!!  I never pushed the pace except very briefly when that woman passed me.  She disappeared up another hillside that would add too much on my run.  No way was I heading UP again.   I never spoke to her but she kept looking over her shoulder at me.  Probably in surprise since she flew by me initially.  Oh at mile 3 I saw my neighbors walking up the hill I was running.  Sorry.  They do however know I am an insane runner.   In fact I asked if the water was working at the park they were turning into and she said "probably not but you probably need some for your insane 20 miles".   She didn't know  I was running 20 today but she KNOWS me all too well.  AP a nice recovery/slow pace of 8:21.  First mile 9:02.  Last mile 8:06.  Only two miles in the high 7s do to that woman!! Do you know how hard it is to ice yourself in your shower??? Brr.......!!  BTW my foot and ankle killed the first two miles of this run.   I almost turned for home the first 1/4 mile of my run thinking  I wouldn't be able to make it.  It hurt all day yesterday.  Will I take time off??  When my ankle falls off. 

Got to bed late.  Watched "The Help" with my daughter Courtney (2.5 hours long).  And due to my ANKLE/HEEL pain it wasn't worth it to get up and TORCHER it some more.  It is slowing me down in my training, mentally and physically.  I don't know what to think of it.  Injuries suck.  I am still in denial that I am injured that I continue to run on (hence my 20 miler on Friday).  I keep thinking I will run it in to submission or something.  I had a little bit of a limp all day at work so that was discouraging.  Stress fracture?????  pretty painful but I am tough.  I can take a lot of pain. 

Okay so I have been reading Dean Karnazes book "RUN!!".  It is quite entertaining.  He is such a nut and I love it!!  In fact  I read it and think  "I can so DO THAT RUN!!"  Not the ones he does in the cold but the 100 milers right here in Utah.  I am all over it!! JUST DO IT!!!