Believe to Achieve

First I must add that I rode up to the race start by Mel's sister and dropped off at the mile marker 2.  We ran up two.  Started the race early because we were bandits.  Sad LET DOWN race for me because of STREP throat/sinus infection. Seriously POOR timing.  All night I tried to REASON with myself...I really shouldn't run this, really Julie.  You are sick.  How many people would even venture to think about racing feeling this lousy?  Well I just DON'T listen to my self speech.  I am driven.  I am not going to care about today's time and I will just "take it easy".  I told myself even "Secretariat" had and off race due to an infection and then HE WON the Triple Crown.  That is the only way I can think about this race today to not get depressed about SEALING THE DEAL of CONFIDENCE today. AND actually I think I have a 1:23 in me after my first 6.5 miles at 6:18 AP (6.2 miles at 6:17 AP for my fastest 10K ever of 38:57 with a serious head cold, so I am happy).   I don't even feel sore because this overall AP today is what I have been running so often.  I decided MP today was all I could muster but when I was doing so well and just 20 seconds or less behind Jane and Kim til mile 7 I thought maybe I could hang on but then I decided to take that pee stop and I couldn't pee (no WATCH STOPPING< NOT ALLOWED) and then I couldn't start running again.  I hadn't had any water until mile 8 because we were bandits and I felt guilty and I didn't take any GU with me (big mistake).  All I had were two HALL's cough drops creating a gross taste in my mouth.  After the Pee stop I couldn't see Jane and Kim and Mel anymore because we were in the woods/trail now and it became mental when the first few guys that started 11 minutes after us because we started this race on our own time since we heard there were still two more buses of people to arrive.  Apparently we started 11 minutes BEFORE true start time.  Luckily I was NEVER passed by a girl :D.   I just mentally lost it because my chest started to hurt, the muscles for breathing hurt.  I was not able to breath through my nose and it was just TOO hot for me without water.  I finally just HAD TO TAKE A WATER at the last three aid stations.  I was getting dizzy due to the race, antibiotics, ibuprofen, tylenol and NO WATER/Fuel.   My head got fuzzier and fuzzier that I just had to bring down the pace to 7s for the last 4 miles.  Oh we also made this course right on.  It seems to always measure about 12.92-12.96.    Mel, Kim and Jane went straight (not thru the shoot) and were called bandits and liars.  Mark Harmon directed me to turn right before the park so I just ran until 13.1.  I ran 1:27!!!  This is a PR on this course by OVER A MINUTE.  And I am willing to guess that we can take off that .18 miles since HAWK swears HIS COURSE is USAFT certified and the canyon causes it not to pick up accurately.  I don't know. There are MANY different opinions about this.  Despite my SADNESS of not BEING/FEELING my best at this race I am going to PERSEVERE AND CONQUER that 1:24 at Mt Nebo half.  Surely I shouldn't still have strep throat in three weeks?  Sadly Jane and Kim aren't running it.  But at least I will be official and start with RACERS and not try to race when there are ONLY FOUR OF US RACING from the get go.  Seriously it is NOT easy to push yourself with no one in front or behind (except the four guys that passed me).  I am thinking 1:23 is within my grasp.  Why oh why did I have to be sick today of all days?  Ran 2.9 CD miles slowly.  I felt like I needed an inhaler at the finish line yet my muscles don't even feel worked much at all.  That is a good sign so I will take that positive :D.  Splits: 6:08, 6:20, 6:20, 6:12, 6:16, 6:23, 6:42, 6:43, INHALER NEEDED WATER NOW PLEASE!!  I lost 5.5 pounds since Wednesday!!!!!!  okay the last four dreadful giving up physcially and mentally miles, pretty sunny and hot, 7:00, 7:08, 7:13, was going to stop and walk so started to drag my feet greatly, no muscles are even hurting I just can't breath and my throat, head  and lungs are spent, 7:33, 7:12, last 0.1,  6:38 pace.  These are the splits that add on to the course so if I were in the real race my time would have bee 1:26!! : D.