What a mess. This was a very good race for me a year ago but today was a disaster. I have been struggling mentally the past few weeks and my stress level between work, family and marathon training is high and taking it's toll. I am tired, worn out and on the edge of a mental breakdown most every day. Running should help with this, but it has become more of a chore than a release. I was hot this morning, low 80's to start and humid - it is Texas. Interestingly, last year - the hottest summer in years - it was 67 degrees at the start, it makes a big difference. I started having a few stomach issues last night but didn't worry to much even when they carried over this morning. I headed down to the race with Jenny, my husband and two girls. I took two trips to the POP and then ran the 1K with my youngest as a warm up. At this point I was feeling okay and was going to stretch and go. I forgot the stretch part, but when the gun went off, I felt good. It was down hill from there. The first two miles where okay and pace was right where I wanted it but the effort was hard and it was hot. By the time I hit 4 miles I was holding on for the U turn at 5.5. Reached the U turn and GU'd and drank water and tried to cool down. Just past the turn I started to get dizzy, so I slowed down a bit and tried to push through. I made it about another mile and the last three were a train wreck. I started taking walk breaks and then would try to push through and was just wanting to be done. I was miserable and so were most the people around me. I was leap frogging with a guy who was puking, so I was not alone, but it was no beuno. I finally finished and told my husband I was done running and he said he didn't believe me. Unfortunately he was right, but I have got to figure a few things out and how to improve mentally....Up until the last year, I have never struggled with this and I have no idea how to get out of my funk. We got home and I have spent the better part of the day in the bathroom or trying not to die.....or at least to stop feeling that way.
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