catherine's running efforts

Long day, even though I didn't go to work. I cried for a lot of the trip to Salt Lake for our 20-week ultrasound because of some story on the radio about a man who killed a puppy, and then I cried for most of the trip back to American Fork (fun day for Eric) after our afternoon appointment because I can't decide if we should keep going to our OB or switch to a midwife (more emotional support and still at the hospital with doctor backup, but what if something crazy happens?). 

After I finished teaching my online class I was pretty tired, and I'm probably coming down with a cold, so I thought I'd be completely justified in skipping the gym and just going to bed. But then I thought that I'd probably be happier in the long run if I just went. And maybe it's lame, but seeing that Biggest Loser would still be on was kind of the deciding factor.

About 40 minutes walking up a fake hill, then the quad and hamstring machines. I don't care about my arms. They're dead to me.

And we're having a girl. She's fine so far. I might have some arrhythmia. We're thinking of naming her Elliot, but we're still open to suggestions. 

P.S. I'm *totally* 117 and not 123 like the doctor's office scale said.

I stayed home from work today and slept in so that I could maybe get over the cold faster. I don't know if it worked, but I'm less tired and I didn't cry at all today. But I had to go to Salt Lake anyway to get the holter monitor (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Holter_monitor) to follow up on yesterday's arrhythmia thing. Also to get Eric's birthday present (his birthday's on Friday). 

I was feeling a lot better by the evening (moved from the sore throat stage to the runny nose stage), so I did about 40 minutes on the treadmill walking at various inclines and speeds. I got an oreo milkshake on the way home because of Allie.

Spent some time on the elliptical and treadmill in between work and the dinner for Eric's birthday. Happy birthday, Eric!

My swimmer brother (he's 9th in the state in his event) came to the rec center (they *do* have an indoor track!) in AF to give me a little swimming lesson. When I was in the locker room about to go out to the pool a cardiologist from the hospital called and said that the results from the holter test (a 24-hour EKG) had been really abnormal, and she asked me all sorts of questions like had I ever fainted and did anyone in my family ever die suddenly. I'm supposed to go to an ER if I get light-headed or dizzy or if I faint, and exercise may or may not still be okay. It was kind of weird and scary. Mostly I wish I hadn't gotten the phone call when I was out and about in my swim suit so that I could have taken notes or something, because really I have no idea what she was saying except that there's some medicine that they'd prescribe except that I'm pregnant. 

I figured that nothing about me changed just because of the phone call, so I went out for the little swimming lesson (I told my brother, though, so that he could pull me out if it looked like I was dying or something). I learned that my arms should go down instead of out, I'm supposed to roll my hips as I go, half of my water-side goggle should be underwater when I turn my head to breathe, and I should make 16 arm strokes per length when I'm in the pool at Gold's. Then my brother was showing me the difference between what I do and what I *should* do, and one of the lifeguard people came over and told us we had to get out because some kid had pooped in the pool. So we went home. Short lesson, but we got reimbursement passes and I feel like I learned a lot.

Later we stopped by to see Lily and pass on Bonnie's waterproof mp3 player case. (See picture. She has one that includes Eric.) It was fun to meet her and get to know her better. I hope she's able to run again soon!

While I was at work the hospital called and said that a cardiologist wanted me to meet with an electrophysiologist. So I went in in the afternoon and found out that part of my heart hasn't been beating right. Since it's the bottom part it's more of a concern (like some people have no symptoms and some people die), so they admitted me to make sure that I respond okay to the medicine that should fix it.

I'm pretty mad about the whole thing. I'm mad at myself for not going to med school or even taking anatomy and chemistry so that I'd be able to understand more about what's going on, and for believing the person who told me in high school that feeling my heart pound sometimes was normal. I'm mad at society for not figuring out how to fund more pregnant woman and calcium channel blocker studies. I'm mad whoever posted the picture of a two-headed calf on Wikipedia's entry for teratology. I'm mad at every doctor who's listened to my heart and didn't think anything was wrong.

But I'm grateful that I'm at a good hospital. I'm grateful that Eric was able to spend the night here with me. I'm grateful that I'm otherwise healthy.

Still in the hospital. They switched the medication from verapamil to diltiazem, and the new one has helped my heart rate to go down and has reduced the PVCs. I might get to go home this afternoon. And everyone (3-4 cardiologists and an OB or 2) says that the baby should be fine. And they could take me off the medicine after I give birth so I can breastfeed, and I could have the surgery really soon after and only miss 24 hours of feeding and then be normal again. So right now I'm just crossing my fingers that they won't want to increase the dose (it was suggested by someone this morning), because I think I'd say no to that. Apparently it's at the higher doses (okay, probably way high) when the bunny fetuses in animal studies start dying.

All in all, I guess it hasn't been too bad. Yeah, there's been a lot of crying, but that's because I worry a lot about the baby. Eric's pretty tired, and I know he's stressed about keeping up with his schoolwork, but the weekend is coming. The hospital kind of blows, but most of the doctors and nurses and aids are really nice and helpful. I have an awesome TA who can teach my class for as long as I need, and people at my job at the church office building are fasting for me. And at least it's something that *can* be fixed, even if I have to wait until after baby comes (hopefully healthy and un-defected) to have the surgery. 

Plus, apparently all this time I may have been working off of fewer productive beats - like if my heart rate is 80, counting the "appropriate" beats it's 40. The bad beats don't happen as much during exercise, but maybe fixing the problem will eventually help me run faster.

I stayed home from work today (but taught my class) to catch up on rest. I also looked up my diagnoses (premature ventricular contractions and sustained ventricular tachycardia) online (it's weird that I didn't do that in the hospital, but it's probably because I spent most of my internet time looking for stuff about the medicine and fetuses), and it made me kind of scared. Most of my worry had been about how everything would affect the baby, and I forgot to worry about what could potentially happen to me. Anyway...I've decided to stop looking up things on the internet for awhile. :)

I went to the gym with Eric in the evening since I'm supposed to do whatever physical activity feels okay, and I just did some super wimpy walking with a small incline on the treadmill for an hour. I was kind of scared to do it, but I figured that whatever's wrong with my heart is better now than it was a week ago, and I exercised a week ago and was fine. It felt good to move my legs, and I didn't at all feel dizzy or light-headed, but I'm pretty sure (according to the monitor on the treadmill, but who knows how accurate those are so also Eric checked) that my heart rate didn't get above about 55. That seemed weird to me, so I'll ask the doctor about it today. I actually felt really good for the rest of the night, though (no palpitations). And I decided to stop judging people who look like they're doing wussy workouts on the treadmill.

When it's warm(er) outside and I see people running it makes me really really really want to run. So after my week-long hiatus from the gym during which I tried to catch up on grading and work stuff (I'm still behind, but less so now), I did a little running (alternated with walking). It's probably been 2 weeks since I ran and a week since I did anything at all, but it went pretty well. I wore the belly belt thing and had minimal jiggling and I'm pretty sure no tightness, and Baby was all sorts of active for the rest of the evening. I'm going to try to work back up to...I don't know, but more than a mile. 

And, weirdly, I'm excited to go swimming again (thanks probably to Bonnie and my swimmer brother). 

The heart thing is going better. I had a follow-up appointment on Monday and they said it looked like the medicine is helping, and I have another appointment in two weeks (the day before our next ultrasound). I also have to wear a monitor for 30 days (21 days left!) and send recordings throughout the day, and so far there hasn't been anything that's led anyone to tell me to go back to the hospital.

I was mad sore in the pelvisal region after my tiny run on Thursday. Probably because I hadn't run in awhile. But it really felt like I had been riding a bike. You know...the pain on the bones, almost. I tried again today and felt the soreness come back, and I didn't want to do it anymore. It just doesn't feel good. So I'm not going to be one of those cool people who runs through her pregnancy. I'm probably going to get uber fat. I won't run a marathon this year, I'm not going to make my goal of running more miles this year than I did last year, I'll be super slow when I start running again, I'll lose my awesome leg muscles, and oh, did I say that I'm probably going to be so fat? 

After the gym I bought a maternity swim suit and some chocolates. At least I like swimming now. And I got faster once...sometime probably I can do it again.

I went with Eric to the gym tonight to try my new puffy-tummy swimsuit for the first time. I did about 25 minutes of back-and-forth kind of water jogging with the foam weights, and then I did regular swimming for 6 lengths. It was fun because I could see Eric every time I was on one side since he was on a treadmill overlooking the pool. There were also some triathletes doing laps, and a guy in the hot tub who kept trying to have arguments with people. 

The six lengths kicked my trash. Eric says it's because I'm spending too much effort on keeping myself out of the water (I'm afraid of getting the nasty pool water in my mouth). I'm going to work on it.

Eric and I went to the water aerobics class at our gym tonight. It was about how I thought it'd be cardiovascular-wise (not hard), but it was way harder than I thought it would be muscle-wise. Mostly because I have no arm muscles and we had to do this longish set of stuff with the foam weights. Sounds wimpy, but Eric has arm muscles and his arms got tired too.

Oh - at the beginning of the class the instructor asked how far along I was. It was weird because that was the first time someone who I didn't tell I was pregnant asked about it. I guess it really is obvious now. Or at least it is when I'm wearing a swim suit. 

The instructor had us check our six-second heart rates throughout the class, and she wanted me to keep mine in the 70% range (everyone else got to go up to 80%). No problem - mine (between 9 and 11 each time) never got over 60% (according to the chart that was near the pool). I blame the heart medicine, because Eric's in way better shape than I am and his was always a little higher throughout the class. It'll be interesting to see if the new low heart rate pays off for running after Baby comes.

And speaking of Baby, today we're at 24 weeks, so according to our doctor Baby could survive if born now. Hopefully she'll stay in for a lot longer (though I'm okay if she doesn't want to make me wait the whole 40).