Go, you chicken fat, go away!

Herbie woke me up at 5:30am to go the bathroom.  Well, to go potty.  Dogs don't really use the bathroom.  I didn't really want to get up, but I kinda did want to get up, but I really didn't.  So it was still dark out and I took him out back in my underwear.  He went pee, but the pig, Cupid, always bothers him.  Then he ran around to the side of the house.  Apparently he was trying to poop, but Cupid wouldn't leave him alone.  I heard some growling and some scuffling, so I called to him, but he wouldn't come.  I had to go over and make sure he was all right.  I finally got him back in the house, and he went straight to the front door.  I'm still in my underwear, so I don't want to take him out the front door where people might see me, even though it's dark, but there's the porch light and street lights, etc.  But he starts squatting down in front of the door, so I tell him no, no, no.  Then I take him outside because it's obviously an emergency.  I'm also barefoot and we have rocks in the front.  So I walk across the bricks and sit down on them so I won't be seen by any of the neighbors.  Herbie finishes up, and I have a hard time getting him back in the house.  That's when I notice that he did drop a load on the welcome mat inside.  So now I have to clean that up, but first I have to drop my own load.  20 minutes later I'm finally ready to clean it.  I just took it outside and sprayed it with the hose.  It's now 6:30am and I really only have time to run two loops.  That's probably all I should have run anyway.  I took it nice and easy and could feel some minor stomach cramps.  Half way into the run I noticed a few sprinkles.  By that time I was so sweaty, that they weren't bothering me at all.  When I turned back north on the Floodway path, it started sprinkling a little harder.  It felt nice.  I saw Sis. Booth from the ward walking down the path.  I put my hands up and said, "I love the rain!"  She said, "Isn't it awesome?"  The End.