Go, you chicken fat, go away!

April Arizona Mudathon

Recent EntriesHomeJoin Fast Running Blog Community!PredictorHealthy RecipesBurt's RacesFind BlogsMileage BoardTop Ten Excuses for Missing a RunTop Ten Training MistakesDiscussion ForumRace Reports Send A Private MessageWeek ViewMonth ViewYear View
JanFebMarAprMayJunJulAugSepOctNovDec
20082009201020112012201320142015201620172018201920202021
15% off for Fast Running Blog members at St. George Running Center!

Location:

Mesa,AZ,USA

Member Since:

May 12, 2008

Gender:

Male

Goal Type:

Other

Running Accomplishments:

I started running again in 2007 after 14 years of not running.

Mile - 4:59 (high school 1992), 5:57 (9/21/2010 ARR Open Mile)

2 mile - 11:10 (high school 1992)

5k - 21:54 (11/18/2010 Tempe Road Runners 5k)

10k - 48:29 (5/9/2009 Race for Hospice)

Unofficial 10k - 47:11 (1/27/2011 Red Mountain Park)

1/2 marathon - 1:49:00 (4/4/2009 Havasu Half)

Marathon - 4:33:09 (11/21/2009 Mesquite Marathon)

Short-Term Running Goals:

Run a half marathon in under two hours.

Run a marathon in close to 4 hours.

Long-Term Running Goals:

Stay healthy long enough to live through the millenium.

Personal:

I am married and have six kids. 

Blog title explanation

Bloggers I've met in real life: 1MileToGo, Aaron Kennard, Andrea North, Arizona Desert Monsoon, auntieem, Bec, Ben, Benjamin, Bonnie, Camille, Cari, Collin Anderson, David Holt, DooneEight Kid Mom, Erico, Flatlander, Gary, Jake Krong, JamesW, Jose, Josse, Julieesplin, JunKelli, Kerri, KP, Kyle Dion, Lightitup, Little Bad Legs, Lybi, Marthon Dreamer, M, Mary Ann Schauerhamer, Misty, Nan, Peds Endo Doc, Rachelle, RADRhett, Riley Cook, Rossy, runningafterbabies, Sasha, Scott Hughes, Scott (Kelli's husband), Scott Wesemann, Slow Joe, Spencer Simpson, Stephen, Steve Piccolo, Susie, The Rookie, Toby, Tracy, Twinkies, TylerS, Walter

Favorite Blogs:

Click to donate
to Ukraine's Armed Forces
Miles:This week: 0.00 Month: 0.00 Year: 0.00
Mizuno Wave Inspire 7 Lifetime Miles: 803.99
Asics Gel 3030 Lifetime Miles: 204.85
Saucony Hurricane 13 Lifetime Miles: 149.22
Asics Gel DS Trainer 17 Lifetime Miles: 87.49
Mizuno Wave Inspire 9 Lifetime Miles: 800.59
Brooks Ravenna 4 Lifetime Miles: 88.83
Mizuno X10 Trail Lifetime Miles: 180.06
Mizuno Wave Inspire 10 Lifetime Miles: 802.77
Asics Gel Kayano 21 Lifetime Miles: 56.47
Mizuno Wave Inspire 11 (blue) Lifetime Miles: 800.75
New Balance 1260v5 Lifetime Miles: 9.19
Reebok Floatride Lifetime Miles: 8.23
Race: April Arizona Mudathon (5 Miles) 01:30:00
Total Distance
5.00

There wasn't a whole lot of running going on here, but there was a lot of fun.

My wife's sister, Missy, the blonde one, got 4 free tickets to the Arizona Mudathon, which is held twice a year.  So she invited me, my daughter, Mary, and my wife's other sister, Suzie.  I think there were more people this time.  We got in line for the race about 45 minutes before it started.  It was overcast and a little cold.  We talked to strangers.  We got started in the third wave.  Immediately after they open the corral, there are some tires on the ground that you run through and there are tires hanging from ropes that you have to dodge.  We sprinted to these because once a lot of people get going, the tires really start swinging.  But right after that you have to climb over a stack of tractor tires.  Actually, they probably aren't tractor tires.  Maybe those huge earth movers.  Anyway, Suzie took her earrings off so she wouldn't lose them.  So we ended up being the last people in our group to go over the tire pile.  Then, right after that, there is the first mud pit.  It was about 2 feet deep.  One lady lost her shoe in it.  She ended up finishing the race with only one shoe.

I like this race because it has an abundance of obstacles and mud pits.  After one mile you arrive to the cargo net climb.  The net is draped over a wooden beam about 20 feet high, like a tent.  There was a long line, so we just waited in line.  Some people opted not to do it.  One person cut the line.  That was douchearific, but we didn't pay for the race, so I guess we can't really complain.  So, when it was finally our turn, I let the girls go first.  Nobody had any problems this time.  Except me.  As I was crossing the beam at the top, I got a huge splinter under my nail.  It's still there even as I type this, which makes for a horrible blogging experience.

We kept going, at a snail's pace.  At times I would stop and empty the rocks out of my shoes just to be able to run and catch back up.  And to get the rocks out of my shoes.  There were two 7-foot vertical walls on the course.  We used team work to get everyone over the first time.  I had to boost Suzie up, and then go over to the other side to catch her.  However, the 2nd time I boosted her up and Missy and Mary were supposed to catch her.  I'm not exactly sure what happened, because I was on the other side of the wall, but I'm pretty sure they dropped her.  Anyway, that was it for her and the obstacles.  She finished the 5 miles at least. 

This year I was determined not to let Missy show me up on the monkey bars.  They were pretty slippery when we got there.  I went first and wasn't sure I'd make it because of the slipperiness.  However, I found out that it was just the first three or four that were slippery.  After that, they weren't slippery anymore because everyone had slipped off.  Say slippery one more time, McCumber!  I dare you!  So, I made it.  The trick was in the grunt.  Suzie didn't try.  Mary made it to one.  And then Missy went.  She made it to two.  Haha!  In your face this time, Missy!

There were a few more obstacles and then on to the cargo net/monkey bars.  I could see that nobody was having any luck.  So I got up there and showed them how it was done.  You have to swing your legs up into the net and crawl upside down.  I blew everyone's mind.

Ouch.  It still hurts to type, btw.

A few more obastacles and on to the finish line.  There was supposed to be a mud pit at the finish line.  It was more like quickdry cement.  Holy cow!  What chemical additive did they mix in there to form this peanut butterlike substance?

Now I know what it's like to be in quicksand.  It's not as scary as the movies.  All in all, we had a good time.  Ooh, I forgot to mention that at mile 3 it started to pour.  It made it cold, but even more fun.

Weight: 0.00
Comments
From Tara on Mon, Apr 28, 2014 at 08:19:05 from 50.186.87.12

That sounds like an absolute, slippery blast!!

From Burt on Mon, Apr 28, 2014 at 08:21:45 from 184.101.107.183

Yes, it was an ASB.

From ACorn on Wed, Apr 30, 2014 at 22:49:40 from 71.213.41.74

My mind was blown while I read your report! Congrats on a successful day minus the splinter.

From SlowJoe on Thu, May 01, 2014 at 04:39:12 from 66.69.93.8

Slippery.

Cool report, Burt. I'm going to go eat some peanut butter now. Great job!

From Burt on Thu, May 01, 2014 at 10:17:32 from 174.26.205.27

ACorn - Success is my middle name. Ok, it's not. But it is my password.

Joe - You're a sick man.

From flatlander on Fri, May 02, 2014 at 12:34:52 from 198.207.244.102

Great report and great pictures, but you shouldn't have let your daughter see all those adults playing in the mud. At least your wife is keeping her distance.

From Burt on Fri, May 02, 2014 at 16:51:45 from 174.17.94.26

I try to expose my daughter to as much debauchery as I can. I think that's the best way for her to learn. Real world experiences.

Add Your Comment.
  • Keep it family-safe. No vulgar or profane language. To discourage anonymous comments of cowardly nature, your IP address will be logged and posted next to your comment.
  • Do not respond to another person's comment out of context. If he made the original comment on another page/blog entry, go to that entry and respond there.
  • If all you want to do is contact the blogger and your comment is not connected with this entry and has no relevance to others, send a private message instead.
Only registered users with public blogs are allowed to post comments. Log in with your username and password or create an account and set up a blog.
Debt Reduction Calculator
Featured Announcements
Recent Comments: