Motivated to Succeed

Um..... OW. That pretty much sums it up. Downright angry with myself right now. I've tried so hard and long for recovery, but it seems its back to square one.

PM - seran wrapped ice to my foot, seemed to help a bit. pushups/situps. It's just not fair. I just want to be able to call myself a runner again, rather than a guy who runs sometimes. This is too frustrating sometimes. I don't wish this junk on anyone.

 Friday : it hurt after three hours at work, so during my break I sat down and seran wrapped ice again to my foot for about 40-45 minutes. It was enough to get me through the rest of the shift at least, though I work 8-4 again tomorrow, so I don't know how that will go.

1:00 PM - So after basically a week of inactivity and stuff, I had cabin fever so I asked Jonny if he'd be up for a bike ride. We decided to go for it. The rain finally stopped and it was partly sunny with temperature about 55 degrees I'd say. We went for a nice ride, and cruised on the flat parts, but we're just not used to biking, as I haven't done a 20 miler in probably about 8 or 9 months now. So it ended up being more of a ride for fitness bike trip. Not too much pain actually in my achilles. So I think I might be a biker for a while. It's not the same as running, but I read that it burns more calories time wise so maybe I can lose some weight doing this! Felt pretty strong on the flats. I think that in a few weeks I could even think about a 50 miler :)

Total Time: 1:24:15 Total Mileage: 20.25 miles Average Speed: 14.4 mph

*Max Speed: 30.2 mph (didn't try to push it though. just happened on a downhill)

Note: Steepest grade hill - 13%

9:45 AM - Woke up and temperature was about 50 degrees and sunny. Decided that to reward myself for finishing my paper yesterday and getting my last project of the semester done, I would go for a bike ride. Went by myself since Jonn and Harry were in school. Followed a lot of the same route yesterday. Legs felt pretty good. No soreness, just some fatigue from all the hills yesterday. Was thinking about how many decent sized hills are on that route, and found out that I scaled exactly 15 hills today. Phew! And yesterday was 22! Thats a lot of hills! Finished strong, though my legs feel a little like jello!

Total Time: 57:34 Total Mileage: 15 mi Average Speed: 15.5 mph

*Max Sustained Speed: 34.0 mph

9:00 AM - So, it was about 50 degrees and sunny again this morning. A slight wind but by golly was it gorgeous out. I decided to hop on the bike and go on a nice big loop for a bike tour. I started off how I did the last few days, but stayed on Jockey Street and went over to Charlton, and then came back home through the other part of town. Felt really great today. Though I did get my workout. Some of the roads were really bumpy and uncomfortable and I managed to have to have sprint outs with not 1, not 2, but FIVE dogs! Don't worry I owned them hardcore. They didn't stand a chance. I showed them how the Howling Commandos roll!

Total Time: 1:34:40 Total Distance: 24.89 mi Average Speed: 15.8 miles

*Max Sustained Speed: 36.6 MPH (New PR for 2008)

Now I am off to Massachusetts after my last final for a few days to see Emma's African Dance Recital for her college course. Can't wait! Be home after work on Saturday!

10:00 AM - A rainy, drizzly dreay morning today in North Dartmouth, MA so what better to do that go outside!?! Went with Emma to the track. We walked and did a mile and then stretched, then eased into a jog. I did 2 miles in 21:40 (10:50/ mile). Then 1 mile of walking cool down and stretching. Overall Felt pretty good.

Total Time: 51:40 Total Distance: 4 miles Average Pace: 12:55/ mile

Emma's performance was amazing. Had a blast watching it. Hopefully there will be a link on her college's website so I can share some of the performance with FRB! Met a lot of interesting people that showed up to watch the performance as well.

On a sad note: After checking the SGM site religiously (or maybe obsessively) 15x a day for the last week, I was served up a great big Goose Egg. They don't want me to grace them with my presence so it looks like I'll just do the local marathon again. Oh well. Such is life I guess. As for tomorrow, I work 8am to 3pm. I think I will go for a long bike ride after work and try to destressify and refocus.

6:00 PM - After a rousing game of Ping Pong, I decided to go ahead and get the ride in, even though it was slightly overcast and I was tired from work. I'm glad I did. It was an amazing ride. All the worries of finals done with, and the disappointment with SGM behind me, I felt "light as a feather" (even though I was probably as heavy as a dumbbell). I decided to go down Jockey Street and into Charlton, a very hilly ride both to and from. It was fast going there probably as I had a lot of energy and it was primarily downhill. Coming back took a little bit longer than I expected and I just barely beat the sunset. Going down there was about 40:20. Finished coming back in 50:14 (uphill). Overall I felt good though. It's weird that I can bike like it's my job, but then as soon as I try to run a few miles, or am at work on my feet all day the redness starts to come back. :( I dont' like this Achilles stuff. On a plus though, set a new 2008 MAX SUSTAINED SPEED RECORD! 38.2 MPH!!

Total Time: 1:30:24 Total Mileage: 25.21 miles Average Speed: 16.7 mph

All in all a nice way to end the week. Sorry for my ranting and raving fellow FRB members. I will hold my tongue! ;) Hope everyone's weekend is going swell, and Happy Early Mother's Day to all you Moms out there! As a son I know I'd be absolutely lost without my mom!

11:20 AM - After waking up at 6:00 (reluctantly, as I was really tired from only about 6 hrs of sleep after that hard 25+ miler last night), I made my mom breakfast in bed with my brothers complete with coffee, orange juice, home fries, an omelet, scrambled eggs and homemade fruit salad. Oh and toast! Then did all the dishes and helped outside with yardwork. Decided to go for a bike ride before work tonight 2pm-10pm. Ended up going a full half-marathon on the bike in extremely windy weather. But it was sunny and temperature around 63 degrees! Yay! Felt great on the bike, though it's not the same as running.

Total Time: 50:58 Total Mileage: 13.11 miles Average Speed: 15.4 mph

12:00 PM  - 55 degrees, cloudy, wind 15-20mph. Man. This might very well take the cake. Just finished the hardest bike ride that I can remember, almost as difficult as biking through the White Mountains in New Hampshire on the way to Maine. The wind was basically in my face the entire way except for a grateful few miles in the middle of the ride. Felt really great today! Felt so great though, despite the fact this was also my longest ride in about 2 years!

200 crunches, 100 situps, pushups, 3 x 12 @ 12 lb arm

New 2008 PR's for biking: 1/2 (13.11 mi): 45:50; FULL (26.22 mi): 1:36:53

Total Time: 2:00:01 Total Distance: 30.68 miles Average Speed: 15.3 mph

Weight: 174 (-4 pounds from this time last week!)

9:00 AM - Up early for a recovery ride. Sunny outside with a temp around 54 at the start. Projected to get up to 75 degrees today! Yikes! Windy yet again today. Ugh! Went down Parkis and Crane Road to Jockey Street into Charlton and back. Felt really great and no soreness really after the first mile. My quads were sore from the last few days of riding, but I really felt good overall. Funny thing I saw for the day today: At about mile 11 in Charlton I was cruising down this back road and I watch a woodpecker fly onto a mailbox. We have a staring contest for a few seconds and right as I get close he decides there must be bugs in the green metal mailbox and starts hammering away at it. I think it gave him a headache because he flew off shortly thereafter.

Total Time: 1:29:58 Total Mileage: 23.76 Average Speed: 15.8 mph

MY SINCERE APOLOGIES ONE AND ALL FOR NOT CONVERTING MY CROSS TRAINING MILES. THAT WOULD MAKE COMPLETE SENSE. I DID A LOT OF READING ON IT LAST NIGHT ACTUALLY AND FOUND MOST TRIATHLETES USE 1 MILE BIKE TO .3 MILES OF RUNNING, THOUGH SOME GO AS FAR AS TO SAY IT SHOULD BE .4 MILES. I'LL TAKE THE MIDDLE ROAD AND USE .33. AFTER LUNCH I'LL GO BACK AND CONVERT EVERYTHING. AGAIN SORRY FOLKS. IT WON'T HAPPEN AGAIN. - BENN

1:00 PM - My mom is in charge of the school store at my dad's school so she decided she wanted to bike to and from there today rather than drive the car to save a bit of gas. She asked if I wanted to go with her and of course I couldn't say no. I love doing stuff with my mom and she's just an absolutely amazing and inspiring woman. The funniest thing she said though on the bike ride was on the first hill when she goes, "Oh crap! I should have taken more 3,4 DAP" (The 3,4 DAP is a special medication she's on for her myestenia gravis that's not FDA approved  but by giving talks about her condition to a medical college in New Hampshire, down at Johns Hopkins in Baltimore, and then at UC Davis Medical Center in California, she is on a trial where she gets the meds for free. So it's really great!). It was hot out. Maybe 70 degrees and sunny. But we had fun. And as a bonus we made money at the school store today! $2.60! Huge pay day! No seriously it was because she said we normally only make about .50 cents. And the little ones were so cute!

Total Time: 50:00 Total Mileage: 10 miles Average Speed: 12.0 mph

*Wow two monstrous days in a row! 33.76 miles of biking today! Now headed to my brother's track meet. The first one of the season that I actually get to see! Too bad he's on the injured list :(. Oh well. Should be fun!

9:00 AM - Legs are a little tired from biking this week, but not hurting sore, just a little achey. Went on the treadmill and started with 1 mile walk in 15:00, then eased into a 2 mile jog in 21:53 (10:56/ mile), then finished with 1 mile walk for cooldown in 15 minutes. Post-run stretching followed. Before run did arm exercises with the 12lb free weights 3 or 4 sets of each exercise. 200 crunches and 150 situps.

Total Time: 51:53 Total Mileage: 4 miles Average Pace: 12:58/ mile

From one of my local running clubs' May 2008 Issue of The Pace Setter: pg 23: Article titled "Reasoned Accomodation": "We really stink at accomodation when it comes to ourselves. We are usually much better at extending it to other fls. Accomodation is not neglecting ourselves. It is protecting ourselves... What is more important, topping off some weekly mileage or being healthy enough to enjoy your next run whenever the sidewalks are clear or whenever that horrendous chest congestion and fever subside?... What I have began to espouse is accepting reality and working with it rather than fighting it or, if you will, accomodation." - Hank Steadman

I think Hank's article especially hits home for me as I've been battling this achilles issue for nearly four months now. I think I erred in the fact that I expected a couple days off or reduced mileage and I'd be good to go once again. Rather than taking a couple of weeks off to see if that helped at first, I tried to run through it, which I suspect only made my injury worse. We have a lot to learn as runners, and while we are definitely good at giving advice to other runners, we very rarely take the necessary time to reflect on our own training and our own bodies. If there's anything I've learned during my layoff that I can take away and use later in life, it is this idea of accomodation. We need to listen to our bodies rather than dictate what we desire from them. Progress comes at its own pace for each one of us. We shouldn't hasten the process. At least we can know that if we listen to our bodies we stand a better chance at not only recovery, but future progress.  Keep on truckin' friends.

9:00 AM - I iced my foot for about 30 mins last night and then zonked out for a couple hours. Up early because I work 11-8 today so I guess we'll have to see how the foot holds up at work. 100 situps, 200 crunches, 4 x 15 @ 12 lb arm exercises. Probably do a second round of them tonight.

6:00 PM - Had a long day at work. My achilles is a little red after this long work week. I'm going to go ice it in a little bit.  Only did a little over two miles today. Just needed to have something positive to take away from today. Ended up doing 2.05 miles in 27 minutes, 13:10 pace. Trying to stay positive, though Wednesday will be 4 months and counting :(.

Just wanted to send out a good luck to everyone running Ogden today. You're in my prayers. Run Fast. Run Within Yourself. And most importantly, Run to Have Fun! Look forward to reading all of those race reports tonight. You are all so talented and amazing athletes. FRB truly is the cream of the crop, hands down. So glad to be able to talk to and get advice from you all! See you all after work.

Some words of wisdom I've taken from Norrie Williamson'sEveryone's Guide to Distance Running:

pg. 19 "If you want something to happen with all your heart, you will find ways to make it happen: If you do not really want it with all your heart, you will find an excuse to explain why it didn't happen."

pg. 25 "There can be few other sports where so many different people with varying objectives come together to meet their challenges. Running offers that."

pg. 33 "Theirs is not the pain of intense speed of marathons or shorter races, but rather the slow, concentrated pain of distance. It is something that takes as much in guts, courage, skill and ability as their speedier counterparts." No matter what speed we all run at, Williamson suggests that it takes as much guts to run a long, slow race as it does to prepare for a short sprinting event.

"The race is not always to the fleet of foot, but to he who goes the distance." I think that this is something important to take away from Williamson's work as well. If we sacrifice everything, lay all our cards on the table, and push ourselves to truly go the distance, we can still be successful and take away a positive outlook on the experience.

Long distance running, like life, is a journey, not a race. We can choose to take its course at our own speed and forge ahead or at the same time slow up and sit back and enjoy the scenery as we jog down the path. We all have something to gain from participating in the sport of running, and the comraderie amongst our participants are like no other.

8:00 AM - Sunny and temperature around 48 degrees with a slight 2 or 3 mph wind. Can't possibly get much better than that! I was thinking of going for a bike ride, then decided maybe I could test the waters since I don't have work later today. I threw on a pair of running shorts (the short, short kind so I can show off my unbalanced muscular legs; for some reason my right leg seems significantly more defined than my left leg, weird!) and headed to dad's work. Behind the school there's two short nature trails. I parked and stretched and did a slow jog, and ended up easing into 5 x .6 mile loops of the nature trail. Hit the 5k mark at 27:36 (8:54/ mile pace), and then jogged to the short nature trail and did 3 x .3 loops there. Finished with a cool down mile on the track and then walked to the car and stretched. Overall I felt pretty good. It felt good to be able to run a bit again. It's been hard going the last four months that's for sure. I think what I might end up doing as I'm continuing to recover is do short bike rides the days that I work to maintain cardio and then the days that I don't work, go for a little longer of a run/walk/shuffle type deal since I'm more likely to be off my feet those days. It's just that work takes a toll on your feet, especially when you're stuck in the cafe like I've been as you're not allowed to leave from behind the counter for the entire shift! Talk about mundane! Oh well, at least this started the week off right. Probably not another run until Friday or Saturday. I'm thinking about placing an order for a Howling Commandos singlet. Would be pretty good PR I think at races. Imagine me running in short shorts with HC singlet on with a guy on a bike wearing a gorilla costume. I think it might be my new favorite shirt!

Total Time: 47:00 Total Distance: 5.25 miles Average Pace: 8:57/ mile

8:00 AM - Started with a walking warm up, light stretching, and then eased into a slight jog. Did two miles in 21:20 (10:40 pace), and then cooled down with a .5 mile walking warm down. Overall felt good considering I did over 5 miles yesterday! I'm really hoping that in the next couple weeks I make some headway so I can start to train again. Positive thinking. Climbing the mountain towards recovery. If I do it smart, I should be able to make a full recovery. Such an awesome job everyone at Ogden this weekend. That is definitely exciting for the blog! Way to go!

Total Time: 43:50 Total Distance: 3.5 miles Average Pace: 12:31/ mile

6:00 AM - So I woke up at 5:18 this morning and couldn't sleep, despite being incredibly tired last night. So I got some coffee and decided to go for a bike ride. Felt good. It was sunny and a little windy, but only about 40 degrees. My hands were pretty cold for most of the ride. It was interesting. I think there were more cars out on the roads at 6AM than when I usually go in the middle of the day! I hate traffic. I always feel like they drive too close to me, and the noise and fumes aren't very nice either. Wednesday will probably be a day off. Really hoping the Achilles holds up at work today because tomorrow is 4 months. And hopefully all of this biking is going to help me in the long run! I really want to set some PRs this fall to get something out of 2008, you know?

Total Time: 1:05:00 Total Distance: 17.05 miles Average Speed: 15.7 mph

Going to take an idea from Paul Ivory and try to record my heart rate when I can. Woke up this morning and rate for a full minute was 48 beats.

12:00 PM - Went to Emma's track at her old high school in Pittsfield and did a walking mile, .5 mile jog, and .75 mile walk cool down. Sunny but a little windy. Felt pretty good I guess. Some soreness in the achilles. Blah.

Total Time: 33:00 Total Distance: 2.75 Average Pace: 12:00/ mile

1:00 PM - Temp about 59 or 60 and partly sunny with a wind about 10mph. Went to Taconic High School track again in Pittsfield, MA. More people there today than on most other times. Started with a 1 mile walk in 14:34, then eased into a jog, though I suspect my short shorts scared everyone off. The lady that got there at the same time as me, saw me jogging in my short shorts and did 1 lap and left, and the two young ladies that showed up when I was on the back stretch of the track, did less than half a lap before they too quickly exited. Soon it was just me and a lady I'll call Fran. Fran sported spandex and a water hydration-fuel belt. We made eye contact once, well I did. It was hard for her to see since I was wearing my sunglasses to keep a low profile. I ended up doing 3 miles in 26:10 (8:43/mile pace!), then did a 1.15 mile cool down.

Total Time: 57:42 Total Mileage: 5.15 mi Average Pace: 11:12/ mi

2:00 PM - Went bike riding with my sister Su for the first time all year. We had fun. Temperature about 70 degrees and windy but sunny and not a cloud in the sky. Didn't try to cycle hard at all. We took a nice leisurely pace, went up to the school and did a mile on the track, walked a lap, jogged one, walked, jogged one, then came home. Total did 11.27 miles of biking and mile on the track in 1:10:00. Felt good. It's been a very hectic week so far. Went to Emma's graduation and it was so awesome to see her walk! Drama started when I got yelled at for saving seats by people. God forbid I save seats for her family that drove 4.5 hours to see her walk at graduation. Well they stopped for breakfast I guess. So I was out in the hot sun saving seats for a cool 80 minutes. I was okay with that, but it was just that one guy saving seats for five people I guess can look sketchy. But this a$$hole complained as if I didn't have a right to save seats, and actually went and got the cops. Her family was there, it was just that they had to walk from the parking lot to the ampitheater, and he went and got the cops and the cop comes down and tells me I need to move. I go excuse me? I have been saving seats for my girlfriends family. They are at the restroom. He goes: Nice try. And kicks me out. So I told him to go somewhere not so nice and do something that I don't think is anatomically possible, and this only further supports my hatred for cops. (All those but Scott Z. that is.). Well the rest of the week was nice. I got to spend time with Emma and her family. Got to see little Sky boy who is very big now, and it was overall very nice.

Yesterday was my 22nd birthday and it was bittersweet. Emma made me two paintings and breakfast and we got to go for a walk and all which was real swell, but then I had to work 4pm to midnight. My family came in to see me though. So that was nice. Had to run a lot of errands today though, and I work Friday, Saturday and Sunday. Oh yeah, I got a whopping .20 cent raise finally after 2 years. So I now make $8.08 an hour. Oh the joys of having a 4 year college degree. Talk about stupid. Can't wait to quit this job.

My achilles still hurts, and it doesn't seem to help me if I take time off. So it doesn't look like I'm going to be running any time soon. I'm going to try to focus on other stuff to get my mind off of it and maybe do a little biking this summer, but I'm not keeping my hopes up.

Finally my uncle had a massive heart attack and has been in the hospital for 19 days now. :( My parents went to see him yesterday on my birthday out in Boston, but he had a mini stroke while they were enroute and then another one today. So they are going back out there this weekend. I am really hoping he is alright. He is such a really cool guy and he definitely doesn't deserve it. I wish I could be the one having the heart attack instead of him.

3:30 PM - I worked until 3 today, and then headed home and outside in the sunny high 70s for a bike ride. Not sure how it was going to feel, but I ended up having a pretty good time. Absolutely zonked though because it was really hilly and windy! Went on the backroads down Hermance and up into Providence, a town adjacent to Galway. Then came home Barkersville Road. All in all a great time.

Thank you everyone for your comments and suggestions. I guess I won't think about any races then for the fall just yet. Instead I will concentrate on biking and trying to stay positive. I just hope this achilles issue is resolved by then! Thanks all for the kind words about my uncle as all. You guys and gals are the cream of the crop. Thanks for being such great friends!! FRBlogger for life :)!

Total Time: 1:11:21 Total Distance: 18.15 mi Average Speed: 15.3 mph

Steepest Grade % in bike ride: 16%

Maximum Sustained Speed: 34.3 mph

So I worked all day today, then when I got home it was a sad day because I decided to get rid of some of my bibliophile obsession (books). First to go were my six years of Running Times and Runner's World. They were just taking up space. You really only read them once, you know?. Then I went and got rid of 200 books, though I still have 2 and a half bookCASES of them! haha. Don't worry. I wouldn't trash them. I donated them to an organization that turns them into insulation! :)

On a plus note, Jonn had his last race of the season and the coach put him in the mile. I found this funny and ironic as it's the only race he liked to run besides the 4x880, and yet the coach only let him run it once this season where he ran a 5:20 something. Weather was muggy and hot and about 75 degrees, but my mom called right after the race to give me the good news. Jonn stuck with the leader for the first lap, let the guy go, then worked with another guy and blistered the third lap to catch the leader who was fading. Then Jonn burned the guy he'd been running with during the last 150. His time? 5:03! I could hardly believe it! This coming from a sophomore who surely doesn't do consistent training and whose coach only did field events as a kid in track. I told Jonn that with consistency there's no reason why he shouldnt be able to get to mid to low 4:50s by this time next year!! And with a mile time like 5:03, I think his 5k average pace should be somewhere right about 5:20, not the 6 minute I think it is with his 5k PR of 18:40 or something. Needless to say we got a bit of work to do this summer.

Oh, and scary, weird story. Emma was mowing her lawn the other day and hit something with the push mower that she thought was a rock. Comes out the next morning (yesterday), and sees metal sticking up from the spot, she goes over to it and pulls out a handgun which at first she thought was a toy. To make a long story short, the gun is very much real and is actually a late 1920s or early 1930s semi-automatic handgun from Austria. Talk about scary! Imagine the headline: "Local Girl shot by handgun: Lawn Mower the Culprit!". I'm just glad she's okay!