Love2Run

I’m so sorry Eva. I know how discouraging it is to have seemingly one injury after another and also to have to follow a different training protocol than you would maybe like. Competitive running can be really difficult.

I’m not going to say what I think you should do because I know that for some people it really is the best decision for them to be done with competitive running. Several of my teammates decided it wasn’t for them anymore, and for one of my best friends who quit (who has run all her life and comes from a family of runners, for whom running meant everything) she decided to be done running collegiately and train on her own. Now she gets to choose how far, how fast, and how often she runs. And to be honest, it was probably the best decision she could’ve made. Being one of the slowest really ate away at her self-esteem and she lost that fire within her to run fast, it became more of a competition to measure up than it did to run fast and do it because she wanted to. And she is a lot happier now that she isn’t dealing with the stress of collegiate running.

On the flip side, I’ve been there, too. I know exactly how draining it can be to constantly have to do workouts you maybe don’t want to do. I know how it feels to stress out and lose the excitement of running fast, to coast through and hope that someday things will be better. My coach almost cut me from the team, and really, he would’ve been justified in it. I wasn’t helping the team at all, I kept getting injured, I was nowhere near running as fast as I used to. I wanted to quit on more than one occasion because it just wasn’t fun anymore. It was just stressful. But when it really came down to it, I realized that this was the best chance for me to accomplish my dreams, that if I chose to run on my own I’d basically be giving up on those dreams because I just wouldn’t have the same opportunities. I could start running in local races, but it just wouldn’t be the same.

When it came down to it, I wanted to run fast. I had dreams of my own I hadn’t given up on and I needed to learn to believe in myself, push through the rough patches, and continue on despite what my coach or anyone was saying.

For me, the best thing that helped was to actually be injured and forced to stop running for a couple months. I biked instead, and oh I hated it. I just wanted to run. I rebuilt that desire to come back from injury and run fast, to not let it hold me down. To prove that I still had something to show, that I wasn’t a lost cause. I doubted myself on multiple occasions, but I determined to never give up. That wasn’t and never has been me. I got really depressed actually because in that time it felt like all my efforts had been in vain. I hadn’t given up for 2 years of collegiate running and struggling to even be enough, I still came back from my mission overweight and out of shape and had stuck with it where most don’t come back, and yet all the hard work I’d put in still wasn’t enough. I wondered why I was putting myself through this, why didn’t I just quit? That would’ve been so much easier. What it comes down to is that I still wanted it. I wanted it bad enough that I would never give up on any opportunities given to me, even if they were out of pity (like I felt my coach’s decision to let me on the team anyway was). I honestly believe that if you pick yourself back up and endure through the rough times, even if it feels like weeks, months, or years, or if the end isn’t in sight, you’ll never regret it. You’ll always learn something, even if you don’t achieve what you want. The experience is still unique and when you look back on it you’ll always remember the good times. It’s when you stop, when you finally say I’m done and give up, that is a decision you might regret later on.

What I learned to do was to focus on the positives. To learn the reasoning behind workouts, think of the benefits and focus on those. Remind yourself that it’s only there to make you stronger, toughen you up. Running isn’t easy and it never will be. But as you get stronger and faster you’ll accomplish things you once thought was impossible. Even if that was to just stick it out a little longer. And that is the greatest reward in my opinion.

Anyways, you know yourself better than anyone. If you honestly believe that being done with competitve running is what’s best for you, then be done and don’t linger on it. Like I said, my friend is a lot happier now that she’s done. It relieved a load of stress from off her shoulders. She misses it, but she’s running local races and gets to choose her own training and only does what she wants to. But if you can find within you the joys and excitements of running while still running competitively, I’d encourage you to do that. If you can stay excited and positive about what you’re doing, you’ll always be able to press forward. It can still be you against the clock if you let go of the competition side of it. If you focus on your own goals and efforts. You may not be able to change the training, but you can take each workout as a task that will strengthen you. Get excited about what you can do. Take each day one at a time and one day, the training won’t feel so difficult. I used to be stubborn and want to do higher miles and slow paced recovery runs because that’s what I was used to. My college coach has a different approach, and just because it’s different doesn’t mean it’s wrong. I was the one that needed to adjust. I needed to humble myself and trust that the training we were doing had benefits and would get me where I wanted to be.

Sorry that was so long. Whatever you decide, I will fully support you. Running competitively isn’t worth it if it only stresses you out and makes you depressed. But it is worth it if you can get past all of that and focus on the positive. I just want you to be happy :)