The Qwer Old Fella's Marathon Method

April 26, 2024

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Location:

Tralee,Ireland

Member Since:

Oct 01, 2011

Gender:

Male

Goal Type:

Other

Running Accomplishments:

I've never worn compression socks.

Short-Term Running Goals:

To do a race.

Long-Term Running Goals:

1. Break the world record for the marathon in the 50+ age group, when I'm 50 in 2015.

2. Never wear compression socks.

 

Personal:

Married with two girls (6 and 10).

The Qwer Old Fella's Marathon Method is a four year experiment.

The first year (2012) was about getting back into running, staying off the smokes and booze, while sticking to a healthy eating plan and shedding mountains of lard. All boxes ticked.

Year two (2013 - age: 48) Injured Jan through March. Build back up and work on my 5k speed. Goal 15:45.

Year three (2014) will be about doing my first marathon in the spring. (Just for the experience and on a tough course - maybe Tralee; goal time, 2:30ish.) Then begins the prep work for Berlin 2015

Year four (2015) is all about breaking the world record for the marathon in the 50+ age group - it's only 2:19 :).

The above might sound nuts; it is, but then I'm nuts. Please do not copy any of the training I do: if you do, you are likely to end up running like me - not a good idea.

The idea is to have a laugh along the way. If I fail, I don't know what I'll do - my whole belief system will crumble and I suspect that this little rock might just stop spinning for a couple of seconds. Jakers, I better not fail for all our sakes. That's some burden, even for SuperBam.

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Miles:This week: 0.00 Month: 0.00 Year: 0.00
Easy MilesMarathon Pace MilesThreshold MilesVO2 Max MilesTotal Distance
0.000.000.000.000.00

WAITING FOR BAMOT

INT.DR LOOPER'S CLINIC FOR THE INSANE, SOME CITY -- DAY.

The treatment room is white. Everything. White couch; white table; white chair; white walls. DR LOOPER is sitting at the table tapping his polished finger nails on the desk. He's dressed for the gym: white headband, white running vest, white running shorts and white Nike trainers. Worse still, He's wearing white compression socks and white compression calf sleeves. He takes a crumpled photograph out of his headband and studies it. He looks at it longingly.

DR LOOPER

(To the person in the photograph) You are my hero.

 Many minutes pass. DR LOOPER has remained fixated with the person in the photograph.

DR LOOPER

You're so athletic.

He pulls the photo closer and stares hard at the person in the photograph. After twenty minutes he sets the photograph down on the table and then stands and starts to pace the room.

DR LOOPER

Where's Bam? I need to get back to my office. I've clients to see.

An hour passes and he starts to leave. He stops and goes back to his desk and picks up the photograph. He stares at it.

DR LOOPER

You knew how to wear compression socks, and sleeves. Nobody dared laugh at you, did they, Brandon.

Carefully, he rolls up the photograph and tucks it in his headband. He saunters towards the door and stops for a moment. He looks about the room.

DR LOOPER

Better get back to the office. Dr Poulsen's coming to see me about managing his desire to destroy all runners in races. Wonder what happened to Bam.

 

Night Sleep Time: 0.00Nap Time: 0.00Total Sleep Time: 0.00Weight: 0.00
Comments
From Derunzo on Fri, Feb 08, 2013 at 14:51:28 from 24.218.176.97

Great picture of you and Baby Bam.

From bdase on Fri, Feb 08, 2013 at 14:55:08 from 67.199.164.200

Hahaha! You know you like them Bam!

From Bam on Fri, Feb 08, 2013 at 14:59:04 from 89.126.28.24

The wife took it at the race last weekend. When I get fit again and start racing, I'll see if she can get one of me in full flow:)

From Matt Poulsen on Fri, Feb 08, 2013 at 18:26:10 from 98.202.242.213

You are one skilled writer, Bam. Seriously. And a total crack-up. I really get the chuckles when I read your humor.

From Michael Finch on Thu, Feb 14, 2013 at 17:50:12 from 71.219.81.179

What happened to BAM!!! :) ..you got me hooked. Good luck with your training!

From Bam on Fri, Feb 15, 2013 at 05:16:08 from 89.126.28.24

Michael - glad you're hooked. Ban will be back with Doc Looper next week. Be careful what you wish for...:)

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