I didn't drink enough water today and had that nasty dry feeling for the whole run. I do love running in the dark though. I ran the loop with all the overeducated commuters driving in a circle around me-- I love running in the dark, it lets me really be alone with my body and thoughts. I find long runs easier after sunset, I find my rhythm more easily. Oh, but speaking of which, I ran like a snail. I think I was running 9:40s, which is ridiculous. There is no reason I can't hold a 9:00 pace for five miles. I suppose my willpower fails me after ten hours of office. A quick rant about my weight: I quit using my calorie counting app on my phone this week, it is useless and ridiculous. I am a careful, light eater and always have been, but no matter what I do, my weight does not budge from the 115-120lb range. (this is plenty-- I'm only 5'2") I have the slowest metabolism known to man, but I have also reached this stasis where I automatically consume about 1,300 calories per day, and run 4-5 miles six times a week. My body is perfectly adapted to this, and my weight does not budge. Whenever I try to diet, I get these calculations that what I am doing should already be causing me to lose weight. What?? It's ridiculous. I don't need 2,000 calories a day, and I never have, and "cutting down to 1500" is not going to help. Similarly, "exercising for at least 30 minutes at least four times a week" sounds like taking a week off to me. So what gives?
Biology, somewhat-- being overweight actually does run in my family, at least from one side. My maternal grandfather struggled with his weight for his whole life, and nobody in my family is leggy and slim. At least, nobody who's biologically related to me. Several of us are athletic. Every last one of us is sturdy. We live a really long time! But we aren't thin. As if that wasn't good enough, I picked a few years in high school to buck the trend, quit eating completely, and be delicate and slim. It mostly didn't work- I was underweight, yes, but mostly I succeeded in looking like a twelve-year-old and destroying my metabolism. And ever since then, I have been slowly, calmly running and maintaining my exact same weight. I'd love to lose weight. It makes you faster! It really does, it's not coincidence that quick runners are generally slim (and muscular!). But I'm sick of receiving "tips" from magazines and websites and people that are things I already do and have done for years. Eat oatmeal? Constantly. Avoid red meat? All day every day. Cut dairy out of your diet? Since I was a baby. Avoid carbs? I eat wheat about once a week. Eat salad for lunch? Unless I'm having soup that day. So I guess I would just like to share this frustration, that it has gotten to the point where this week I am cutting peanuts out of my diet. And frankly, I feel ridiculous. And also, just in case any of us forgot, this is what it takes to actually be thin when your body isn't naturally like that (or, in a lot of cases, even when it is): http://thegloss.com/beauty/adriana-lima-victorias-secret-model-diet-318/ Oh, and having a personal nutritionist helps too.
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