Vanessa's Running Blog

Ran my second marathon on a gravel trail called the Frisco. Started out as a strong race on pace to beat my first marathon time. Felt good and strong and then out of no where I started to feel my body slow down and every movement became forced. Could feel my pulse in my head. My finger tips felt strange. It was only mile ten. Sixteen more miles to go.  I thought about quitting, but decided I should at least run thirteen. Felt like it took forever to get to mile thirteen.  Got there not feeling any better but decided I am half way, pain is temporary, quitting lasts forever, and I wanted another finishers medal for my collection. I closely watched my watch to make sure I was walking and jogging fast enough to make the seven hour cut off. Every step felt like it was on needles because of blisters that had formed on my feet.  I made little goals "I will run to that pole and then walk a little. Ok I'm close enough."  A older man (71- I am 28) caught up to me and we visited for about 4 miles.  Talked about how we both had planned on being faster today but now was all about just finishing, and he talked about his past marathons he had ran in, this was his 16th marathon. Helped time go by faster and distracted me from the pain in my feet. Then I noticed I wasn't on pace and was feeling a tad better after downing two energy gels and told him I would see him at the finish line. Feet blister pain got worse and worse and finger tips still felt strange. Made my goals, run to there and then walk. Got to the last aid station before the finish line four miles away. Poured water on my head. Four miles seemed so far away. After a mile I finally hit pavement again. I was happy for pavement, was tired of gravel. Once I got to where I could see the water tower I knew I was close. It wasn't getting closer fast enough. Got to a four way stop and these little kids on bikes followed me for a little bit saying "your almost there!"  Looked at my watch and figured I was about a mile away from the finish line and had fifteen more minutes before the seven hour cutoff. Was going to make it, barely. I picked up my pace, the pain was horrible but I wanted to be over that finish line, I could see it. Crossed with five minutes to spare. Was hard to stop moving so I could have my timing chip clipped off my shoe. Then received the news that they were out of finisher medals and I could pick one up in about two weeks but they gave me a glass that had the name of the event on it and the date and a train. The school across the parking lot where pizza and drinks was being served for marathon finishers felt so far away. Walking was hard. Got my pizza and walked outside to sit on a curb. I was in so much pain. As I was eating my pizza I got to see the 71 one year old man cross the finish line. He got a 1st place medal for his age group, because he was the only one in his age group. I thought that was awesome. When I am 71 I hope I'm still running marathons. And what I told myself to get to the end is right, pain is temporary, quitting lasts forever, by late afternoon I was feeling better and after about a week the blisters on my feet healed. Next year I'll be more prepared for that Frisco trail.

This month I have felt better than I have in a long time. Seems like it has been more than a year since I felt good and happy. Last year I was thinking I didn't want todo another Dogwood Canyon Trail race or anything for that matter but I have forced my self through the motions of life, training and races waiting for depression to leave. The news two weeks ago that my Mom is now cancer free has been a big relief. My infinite feeling of energy has returned. At this years Dogwood Canyon 25K trail race I had a blast like I did the first year. Timed flew by and I enjoyed the hills of fall colored trees. It was like a beautiful bouquet.  Was worried that I didn't get enough hill practice in since most of my running this year was on flat paved trails and the treadmill but I felt good and wasn't too sore afterwards. Next year I want to beat my time of 4 hours and 10 min. 

Ran four miles on the treadmill while listening to my ipod. Marathon is five days away, I'm nervous, even though I have ran two marathons already, I'm still intimated by the marathon.

I was so nervous before the start of the marathon, more so than my first and second one, fearing that this marathon could be just as horrible or worse than my first one. I had one awesome 18 mile and 20 mile practice run but I did have one bad 18 mile practice run where I felt about just as bad as I did in my last marathon. I was also worried about running in the dark. The marathon started at 1pm and it wouldn't be until 7pm until I crossed the finished line. I hate the dark but I have made it a mission the past fours years to do things outside of my comfort zone to make the fear list smaller. Fear won't kill me. It's only a feeling. To my surprise right before the start of my race a dear friend and her husband showed up to hold things like keys, phone etc. I ended up asking for my phone back because I got to thinking what if I have a medical emergency. My mind never stops. My friend there though did make me calmer. First half of the marathon flew by. Then my friends husband joined me for the last four loops. He was very encouraging and now I wasn't worried about the dark factor. I wanted to beat my time of 6 hours and 6 minutes but I finished in 6 hours and 7 minutes. I have came a long way with my fear and anxiety but sill have a ways togo. I could have ran faster at times but I was afraid of pushing too hard. I have only shared with two people the other factor that made my second marathon such a horrible experience. As I was running my second marathon I was thinking about my Mom undergoing chemotherapy and other stressful things at once and then my heart began to palpitate and it didn't stop until hours later after finishing my marathon. I haven't told more than two people because I do not want to be discouraged from running. I think my heart palpitations are panic attacks, but I'm not 100% certain. Have had heart ultrasounds and EKGs and they were good but those tests were not ran while my heart was palpitating. Before I was a runner and overweight I would have heart palpitations several times a month. Since I have been running they happen maybe three times a year. Which makes me think they are anxiety attacks. Though I'm not certain. I told my brother a few weeks before the marathon that I was thinking about this being my last marathon because of the heart palpitation on my marathon and a training run. My brother asked what was I thinking about when this happened, he knows me so well. I listed everything I was thinking about. He replied keep running marathons you like it. He is right. My third marathon I was fine. I could have pushed harder if I wasn't worried about trigging a heart palpitation. I must learn to silence my mind. I have came a long way, I'm no longer that person that is too afraid to try anything new, but I have a ways to go still. Got to keep running. Next marathon I'll beat my time.