5 miles at 5:50am. Weather=80 degrees, 59% humidity, 14 mph wind, sunrise. Average pace=9:39/m. (10:29, 9:41, 9:18, 9:41, 9:04)
Last week I was talking to my mother and I was explaining to her how much worse my life has been since I stopped running because of this injury... then I told her I had taken enough time off for the leg to theorically heal and I could start running again but I didn't "feel" like it... I started telling her why I can't run in the morning and why I can't run in the afternoon and I why I can't run with the kids...etc, etc.
Suddenly, it hit me... I have this written on my wall and see it everyday: "If you really want to do something, you find a way. If you don't, you find an excuse."
OMG, I'm making excuses... I realized that I was telling myself it was "hard" and I was believing it. I think inertia was getting the better of me. I think I was getting used to not running and my mind was coming up with excuses to keep me in the status quo... convince me not to change my daily habits because change is hard. As bad as I viewed my situation without running, on a sub-conscious level I was resisting starting to run again because it was "hard". Funny how that works.
Sometimes I catch myself trying to decide how I "feel" before I make a change. Ha, ha! I check my gut to see if it feels right. Maybe that's a good strategy for some things in life but I've learned you can't go by how you "feel" to start an exercise regime or a workout. Most of the time you may not "feel" like you want to run... "feel" like you want to get up in the morning.. "feel" like you want to go faster or farther. At least not at first. It always gets better... and I've never finished a run and regretting running. OTOH, I've skipped a run and regretted it.
No, sometimes, you can't go by how you "feel" in life. Sometimes you have to suck it up and, to quote Nike, "Just Do It".
"Sacrifice is a requirement of life. You either sacrifice today to reach tomorrow's goals or you give up your goals in favor of the fleeting comfort that is distracting you." Sacrifice is doing something you don't "feel" like doing. What many people don't consider when they are deciding whether or not to do something "hard" is that comfort is abundant (and sweeter) once long term goals are met.
Ok. So on the phone with my mom that day, I caught myself being a whiny baby. After I realized what I was doing, I started running again. And I started waking up early and just doing it. It's not nearly as hard as I imagined. Heck, it's a great time of year to run at 6 in the morning. It's light outside... warm enough to wear tank and shorts and it's the coolest part of the entire day without oppressive sun.
"Telling yourself a miserable mental story about your circumstances, creates suffering... Telling yourself a more positive and grateful story creates happiness". The truth is... mornings this time of year are a gift. Running is a gift. I need to wake up every morning to run and say, "Thank you God for the ability to run and this glorious morning".
I keep reminding myself that I've got to be patient coming back from this injury. My leg still feels a little weird even if it doesn't hurt. My plan is to take it slow but increase my miles gradually over the summer. Last week was my first week back and I did 13 miles. This week I'll do 20. Week 3 - 25 miles. Week 4 - 30. Week 5- 35 miles. Week 6- 40 miles. It still makes me nervous to be running so slow... but I looked back at my running this time last year and I was even slower. I got lots faster in the fall/winter/spring that followed. If I do as good of a job as I did last year with building my base over the summer, I should be able to reach my goals. Sacrifice, patience, determination, discipline, persistance, hard work... If I put in the work, I'm sure I could achieve a 3:25 marathon in December. | 