You've got to want it to win it

This morning at the course it was cold!  I wished I had overpacked so that I would have had a few more layers.  At least we know for when we're (if all goes well) back in 6 weeks!  55 minutes before race time we started our warmup as a team.  The men's race was going on so we stuck to the back part of the course where they wouldn't be for a while.  It was nice to get familiar with the finish area because when you are tired, it really helps to know how far you have left to stay motivated to keep going.  After doing our strides and drills, we got our spikes and headed to the line.  It was definitely a day to keep your sweats on as long as possible, but the warmup definitely helped.  In the race I knew the temperature would feel alright, but other than that all spectators and athletes not currently competing were bundled up.  When the race started, I was with Shaylen and Giselle like I was supposed to be, for about 50 meters.  I settled back too soon and then lost my chance to be in a pack with them for the first part of the race.  I stuck to the right side of the course on the first part and around the hairpin turn like Kep had asked us to, and then I started to work my way back up to where I should have started.  I'm not sure what my 1k time was because I heard 3:24, 3:30, and 3:34 by 3 different coaches at the 1k mark.  I could see Giselle ahead of me, so I just focused on trying to pass everyone she passed and to keep her in my sight.  The mile was 5:44, 12 seconds slower than 3 years ago...  Around the 2k mark I got next to Giselle and tried to get her to come with me.  She had been getting muscle cramps during her strides before the race, so physically she wasn't feeling too great and mentally she was letting up a little bit.  She told me to just go ahead, so I went on and made my way towards Shaylen to try and work with her.  By this point in the race though, it was too late to really help my teammates by being able to run up with them. I had conserved at the beginning and they were getting tired and couldn't stay with me when I caught them. I have a hard time with the strategy of going out hard and it being ok to have the error of crashing and burning in the end because of it. I know it helps some people, but I am not one of those people. This year I actually have been doing better at running even splits within my races. Probably more useful for a longer distance race, but can't complain. I never mastered the keep it slow and have a crazy kick racing style. Back to the race, I came through 3k in 10:32. I knew if I could negative split by a few seconds that I could finally break 21. I kept picking people off and targeting entire groups (I was surrounded by so many people there was no need to single out individuals) and had caught up to Shaylen and Andrea by the 4K mark. Kep was there and he told me I was about 130th place. A lot lower than my finishing place 3 years ago at this meet on this course. I had some serious passing to do. I just kept picking people off as I kept going, but knew with only 2k left that I would be out of time soon. Around the 5k mark it was spread out and I was finally up to people of my pace so passing them was more challenging. I would have needed to be with them from the start to really be able to race them. I was almost up to Jess, so I focused on passing the people that she passed. Coming around the corner with less than 800 to go I told myself to start pushing it in. With a little over 600 to go I felt really nauseous and had to back off just a bit, but only to prolong the onset of my puking until after I crossed the line. I had got it together by 400 to go and then brought it in. As soon as I was across the line, I was off to the side puking. I must have passed several people in the last stretch because I was 15 places in front of Jess. The spread between our 3-5 runners was short, though I don't remember exactly what it was right now. After having the chance to get some food, we went on a longish cool down. I did just over 6 to finish with 13 total so that I could end the week with 50. As far as thoughts on the race of what I did well (or ok) at or where I need to improve, I only negative split by 3 seconds, but I passed 80 people in the last 3k. I need to follow through on starting fast and really get in the race and battle it out.