You've got to want it to win it

This morning I slept in for a bit before getting up to go on a short run. I signed up for a half marathon last night that starts at 10pm tonight, so this morning was just a shakeout. I ran to the gully for 3 laps and then back home. On the first lap I was disappointed to find that the hole in the fence at the top of the hill was closed off. So I ran back down the hill, across the bridge, and then crossed back over at the next bridge.

Finally come race time, Ben put me on the first bus to the start line.  Its probably a good thing this driver left first, we ended up at the airport and arriving later than some of the buses that left after us.  On the bus I sat next to a guy who ran this race last year so he told me a little about it.  He said it wasn't very competitive since some people kinda get silly with the glow sticks, but I had decided that as long as I paid a high price to get in I was going to at least go for time.  When we got there I warmed up about a mile and then did a lot of strides and drills.  I took 4 of the LED bracelets that they provided, relieved to find out that if you pushed the button 3 times it would just be on and not flashing!  I'm not epileptic, but these bracelets were annoying.  I also had three of my own glow bracelets, and I set my Garmin to be lit the whole time too.  When the race started I was standing next to a guy who also looked like a serious runner with a Garmin and few glow items.  I was right, when the race went out we took the lead.  We were together the first 2 miles of the race, which was good because if I wasn't with him I would have gone straight instead of making a left to go under a bridge.  I had even asked the race director if he had a course map I could look at, but he just said it was straight.  Straight my @$$#^.  Maybe for someone who runs this trail a lot it would be easy to know the way, but not me.  At around mile two the guy I was with picked up the pace (we were going between 6:30-45ish and he seemed comfortable with it, and I knew it was PR pace so I was ok with it to start and conserve).  I knew I could probably stick with him if I pushed, but since there were 11 miles left in the race I didn't want to try to go with him and then be out of gas for the duration of the race.  I told myself I would just try to keep the pace I was at and not get thrown off by him picking up speed.  Eventually he became just a silhouette in the distance and then I couldn't see him anymore.  At one part on the trail there were some people with a horse, the shape of the horse in the dark was a little frightening.  Eventually I came to another bridge that I had to go under, and I was really hoping that it was the right way because there was also the option of continuing straight.  I confirmed that it was the right way when I came to the next water station.  They really should light those up more because you can't see them from more than 100 meters away.  And if they aren't calling out water versus powerade you can't tell what you are grabbing.  Eventually I came to a part of the trail that crosses a road and was surprised that no race people were there to stop traffic (though there wasn't any so I guess it didn't matter) but on the other side of the street when I continued straight I ended up on a path that was not paved.  It went into some trees and then the bushes got thicker and thicker, and then I was really scared and was not going to keep going that way alone.  I burst into tears at that point and ran back the other way.  When I got back to the road I realized that the path continued to the right (now left) of before but I missed it because it was so dark.  The next water stop was just a little bit more ahead.  I wish they could have moved at least one person down to that corner so that 19 year old girls running by themselves wouldn't get lost and scared.  I kept going and maintained my pace pretty well.  It was a bit of a relief to get to the 10 mile mark where the 10k turnaround is, I was able to catch some of the walkers on that course.  At one point I looked to my left and saw cows!  That was a little scary, but they weren't as close as the cows get at Jeremy Ranch.  Getting to the 5k turnaround was another relief, and I was happy that I was so close and still feeling so strong.  Finally I got to the guy with the batons pointing to the "only turn" on the course.  Then it was back to the fairgrounds to the finish where my parents, brother, and Ben were there to cheer me on.  I was so happy to be finished but still burst into tears again because I had been so frightened being alone out on that trail most of the way and being in darkness.  I finally cheered up when they did awards and I got a sparkly tiara.  Which I accidentally broke when I was trying to get it unstuck from my hair later.  Also when I was up on the awards stand, the girl who got third turned out to be the aide for my physical therapist, that was cool.