Objective: Easy. Taper countdown: 11 days. Weather: mid 50s F, cloudy, breezy (10 degrees warmer than yest. - almost overdressed myself) 15 min abs. weights Sorry - another Brain of Snoqualmie discourse... I spent a great deal of today's run thinking about goals and fears (thanks a lot, Taper). Like many others, I like to create 3 levels of goals. - Nearly Impossible Dream Fantasy Goal is 4:05 (BQ).
- Challenging But Realistic Goal is 4:10.
- Acceptable Without Disappointment is any PR -- i.e. less than 4:17.
I believe I am much fitter than I was last year on the same course and I am about 5 lbs lighter, so I think these are reasonable goals. Enter creeping fears and doubts.... I thought it might be useful to do a little permission-to-fail mental exercise to see if I can calm the perfectionist part of my brain. Do you know about perfectionism? It is not really about trying to be perfect. It is an all or nothing attitude that insists on a particular outcome. There is no forgiveness. So I could make a dozen goals -- even one that said "finish in under 6 hours" -- and still be uptight about not achieving any of them. That's why the permission-to-fail exercise is so useful. I think I first learned about it from a book about performance anxiety for musicians. The first step is to identify what would be a disappointing outcome. That's easy: I truly would be disappointed with anything slower than 4:25. I can't help it. I just feel I can do so much better. This training cycle has been dream-come-true good.
Now comes the hard part. What would it take for me to forgive a 4:25 finish? "Do your best" is a little vague, but I think I can live with this: "Dear Self, I hereby give you permission to come in at the disappointing time of 4:25 or slower, provided that you: 1) keep your diet healthy between now and Oct. 5 (you're doing great so far!), 2) continue to follow your taper schedule, 3) go to bed on time, and 4) in the next week and a half, say "no" to any further events, obligations and duties beyond what you already have on your calendar. If you do all that and still have a disappointing time, we will just forge ahead and eventually you will reach your goals. Your goals are attainable."
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