Sock tans

6.5 at a faster pace after work. I wanted to go out to the oval for a speed workout but unfortunately couldn't make it.

AM:

Met Bill, Garek, Natalie, Laura, Mary, Tresa and Diwas at Sunnyside. We did Shriner's run to the roundabout then turned down a street and ran to T street. We then did the Avenues hill run, where you run hard up the hill to the next street, turn left and recover to the next, then turn right and run hard up the next street, and so on zig-zagging up to 11th Avenue. The hills gradually get steeper as you go. I haven't done this run in forever! I felt fine until the last two hills, which is when I started to bind up. I pushed through the best I could. Then Shriner's run back and I ran home.

PM:

6 miles with Bill, Garek, and Natalie.

Went up to the treadmills after I got off work and did 10 miles at 8:00 pace. I wanted to go easier today, especially cause work wore me out more than I thought it would.

Workout was out at the oval today. It was 1 mile (not 1600), 800, 3 sets of 3x300s. We had 8 laps warmup, 4 laps speed changes, then changed shoes. Then did a lap before starting. We had 2 laps recovery after the mile, 1 lap after the 800, and went from the finish line to the 300 start after each 300 (a little over 100 meters), 1 lap in between sets. I usually like this workout, but today it was awful. I'm fatigued again, which makes me both frustrated and nervous. I thought I was over CMV. I know that once you get it you have it forever, the symptoms may flare up periodically. I just thought that it would stay away for a long time? I have had less sleep for the past week so that could be why. I was on pace for the first 3 laps of the mile, then died. I was shooting for 5:45-5:50, hit 6:01. Then the 800 was dreadful, 3:08. 1st set of 300s went 61, 62, ? Missed that one, it was probably 62. Started the next set with 66. That's when I bagged it. I wasn't getting anything out of the workout except for more discouragement. I can usually hit 300s in 54-56 pretty easily but a 66? And I felt like I was working them pretty well but again couldn't go fast. I feel like I'm going backwards. Hopefully a lot of sleep will help. Did 8 laps cool down.

Wasatch and VA loop. I read an article today that I thought was relatable. I realized I haven't been enjoying running. In high school it was often the highlight of my day. Now it's an obligation, and I continue to let myself down. This article said that motivation is what gives you the push you need to work through pain, and is closely tied to enjoyment. If you don't enjoy running, why would you want to make yourself suffer? Honestly, I haven't truly enjoyed running for months. I used to look forward to workouts but I just don't anymore, unless it's a long run at a slower pace. I've felt guilty about this, because I labeled that as lazy. I'm becoming one of the people I despised in high school: those who don't work hard and waste their talents. And I hate it. I want to work hard, improve, and have fun. I'm finding it difficult to do so. The article labeled this as a burnout. Maybe I'm burnt out. Maybe that's my real problem. I kinda thought it was just a lame excuse for not working hard, but maybe it's a real thing. For right now, I guess I'll just look for ways to enjoy running. I won't bother with trying to meet some standard, I just want to be pleased with what I can accomplish.