I'm not crazy...I'm just bored!!

Pity party of one...doctors appointments in the morning and then normal life in the afternoon and lack of direction made this a no go day.

I actually met the Newtons on a run! Amazing, I know. I just needed to get out with people that get me. I didn't do the full 10, I ran from home backwards on the course and met them on Emmeline. It was a wonderful, fun run! I'm grateful Melanie held back with me, because just before the blacktop starts infront of the rec center, I stepped on a chunk of snow or ice and fell hard. Twisted my ankle, banged my knee and hit my head on the cement too. I laid on the sidewalk and cussed for a second. Got up, walked a bit then finished the run. 

I then went to lift and half of boxing. I'd left Adam home to sleep so I had to go get him before kindergarten pick up. 

Another lazy day. I didn't do my speed work because of my swollen ankle. I could've toughed it out, but I'm going through some mental battles lately as well. 

I feel like I need a week-ish off of sparring so that I can recover my brain. I truly feel like I probably have had a concussion or two and each subsequent hard hit makes things worse. The ringing in the ears, pain in my eyes as I look left and right, uncomfortable brain pain as I quickly turn my head while driving, light headed as I simply bend down to pick stuff up. Sigh, so I asked for a week off. But, my coach is going to extremes and not giving it to me. He wants to cancel my fight. Which makes me crazy, because I know taking a week off to heal isn't the end of the world. A 1 minute 3 round first time amateur fight isn't the end all be all pro fight. But, he is acting like skipping a week of sparring is going to brake me. Friends that have done this event say it isn't  a big deal and I'm more than ready, but my coach is making a mole hill into a mountain. I'm trying to talk him down, but not having much success. So, do I suck it up and deal with it or do I just let him go and let my friends sign me up and help me? Ugh. Anyway, since I really only write this for me I'm just writing down my thoughts. I will see what happens when I talk to him tomorrow. A fight isn't worth sacrificing my brain. But, I've been looking forward to this for a while and working hard for it and I'M not willing to give it up yet. I just feel like maybe my coach is making it more about him and his anxiety and showing the world the awesome monster he can create and not wating to watch me lose than it is about me and helping me. But, we shall see....

Well, my ankle was still rather tight this morning, so I got up and went to get ready for Shaggy Mountain, but I was too worried with the uneven terrain and an ankle not 100%. So, I said hello to the Newtons and then went back to bed. I did get up and hit the gym for lifting (arms) and boxing. I then had a great face to face talk with my coach. I plead for his confidence in me. I couldn't let the fight go. I've been looking forward to this for so long!!! Nothing stops me. Nothing. Where there is a will there is a way. After 45 minutes of talking and rationalization he was willing to give me sparring on Saturday to see if I could handle training for the next few weeks for the fight. I left feeling on top of the world and like I wasn't going to give in.  I was going to find a way to make this work. I was going to have my cake and eat it too!

So, I was on top of the world knowing I was going to get to do my fight. But, then I talked to my husband. Sigh. He made me realize that my brain and my family need to be more important than a hobby. I can work through muscle issues, ligament issues...but my brain? I can't re-grow that. I'm 80% sure that after talking to Lisa I've had at least 3 minor concussions. The more impacts I take in sequence the more at risk I put my brain. This sucks. Because of my injuries I've had to put off family and fun stuff and sleep or recover. I can't afford to let days with my precious children slip by simply for a hobby. I can't afford to damage my brain, because it won't recover! So, I went to my personal training session ready to tell Cyle that I was ready to put this goal off. I'd still like to face someone in the ring and put my boxing skills to the test! But, I will wait until I'm ready and healthy. Craig helped me find perspective. He is good about that! 

So, I had a great dynamic lifting session with Cyle and then a huge boxing workout. It was great fun! Other than my dumb back locking up on me I again, I felt good about my decision and felt a weight off my shoulders...if not added on my SI joints and pushing on my sciatic! hahaha. 

So, I'm out of the fight. But, I truly believe it is for the best. I haven't been sparring long enough and I'm not used to taking punches enough to get through training. I'm trying to tell my heart that I didn't give up, I was just smart and put it off until I'm ready. 

So, I guess that means I have no excuses to cut my running anymore...now if it would just be spring.

Well, the beautiful snow storm taking over  the weekend cancelled my scheduled run with Lisa. Sigh. So, I did tabata and boxing and sat out to watch sparring. That was hard too, but I also didn't want another shot to the head. I don't need to take it. So, I watched and enjoyed the sparring, but I should've run while I was watching :) I started running afterward and I only got 4 miles in before Craig came to help me clean the gym. So, I took a break and mopped all the floors in the gym. I had 4 miles in 35 minutes and so after Craig left I took it upon myself to punch out another 3 in 25 minutes to make it 7 miles in one hour. It felt good. I really love running. Boxing is fun, but nothing takes the place of running. It was nice to just zone out on the TM and let my legs move. 

I then spent the evening watching Lauren's region swim meet in Bountiful. Man that girl amazes me and makes me so proud to be her mama! Being only a freshman she is ranked 13th in the entire region (8 high schools) for her 500 free event. I just see her improving and finding her stride more and more every day. I'm just not ready for her to grow up. I miss my little girl. Time goes too fast! My niece took 2nd in 100 breast stroke and at the same time dropping 4+ seconds off her PR! It was an incredible race and we  think it now gets her qualified for state. It was a privledge to be able to be there and watch that amazing performance!