Here we go. Super excited about our new uniforms and racing for my last time on this course but it didn't turn out like anything I was hoping. I had goals and I thought I was determined but as we started the race, I realized I wasn't actually wanting anything anymore. I knew where I should have been and I told myself throughout the race that I've been working hard for four years and this isn't how I want it to be but overall I didn't care even though I wanted to!! I really wanted to do well and I really wanted to get a PR but I knew that I've quit before I even started and it hurt to know that my body wouldn't respond to anything because overall I've quit. I don't know why I did when I had a really good start and things were looking well and I had my great team mates to push me along! They did SO amazing and I'm so proud of them for that. If all I did this season was to help the future team to get stronger and faster, I guess that's what I'll have to be happy for. I want to race like how I used to and love it like I did but I have to start from stratch again because I can't do it with how I am right now. I'm so proud of my team for stepping it up and being so supportive. I couldn't have asked for a better trial to overcome and for a better support group.
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