5:10, 5:10, 5:17, 5:08, 5:13,
5:13, 5:10, 5:23, 6:17, 6:34
Today was beautiful, the weather, the course, the pop in my legs that were rested. I should have known it was too good to be true. at mile 8 I got a side stitch and focused on breathing. I had plenty of energy and I knew I could close sub 5:10 no doubt. then the second stitch, and a third, and a fourth then my breathing started to tighten like I was hyperventilating and couldn't control it. I was in so much pain I had to slow down and it was a real dissappointment. I attribute the stitches to the shot bloks I had right before the race--sugar doesn't sit well with me. I've got to figure out a new method of fueling for my marathon.
--
Like most things in my life I have a glimmer of true success every now and then. Something that I'm truly proud of, and then continual setbacks and failure. It's like going on dates with several different ladies at various times over the past few years and never hearing back from them again. You just get so numb to the rejection and quit caring so much. Instead of rejection it's more disappointment after disappointment with running.
That's one way to look at today sitting here feeling a bit down. Life's a bitch, you're a slave to money never getting anywhere, and then you die. the end. This pessimistic streak runs strong in me. However, there's that glimmer of hope down the road, the intuitive feeling that one more mile, one more push beyond what you thought you could do, the place where success, self confidence, and happiness await. That's what keeps me heading out the door everyday, working hard at my job, never giving up for that elusive chance at greatness. I had true belief and hope when I was a younger man before I became a cynic after bouts of depression and reading too many books in college. Remember this kid? This guy had true belief.
It's just taken me this long to realize who I truly am and who I want to be. I know deep down I am currently fit as a fiddle even though I haven't been able to put together a decent race. The continual lessons in humility, patience, and true perseverance that I am currently learning--and a lesson is what I learned today--are what life is all about and why I have come back to running in the past couple of years. Getting continually shot down only fuels the flame. There's no doubt life is teaching me a very important lesson. Course re-routes, being led off course, sickness, heat/humidity, stitches. these things come at you over and over. You can either get back up and keep going or quit. I've never been a quitter and I'm not going to start.
If you've ever seen this clip you'll get what I'm trying to say: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UfjRcGDBvMQ
Matt
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