I am so excited!!!
I am so excited. I am so excited. I am so excited. I am so excited. I am so excited. I am so excited. I am so excited. I am so excited. I am so excited.
SO...wanna hear why I'm so excited? Yea! A solution has dropped into my lap.
Problem: I am fat. No really, I am. I have not lost a single solitary pound since they first yanked Danielle outta my abdomen. Seriously. Same weight as I was in the hospital and everything. Soooo many many pounds to get down to my pre-pregnancy weight. This has a couple of hideous consequences for running.
1.) I am embarrassed to run when people might see me. It is like every added pound is hanging onto me by a separate bunjee-cord, and they all bounce when I run. Yuck! I can't stand it.
2.) It is inherently depressing to be fat. And nothing makes you want to eat more like feeling depressed. And let me just say that depression is NOT my thing. I like to be happy.
3.) It is hard to run with a lot of sudden weight. People who have 20 pounds to loose that gained it over 5 years, well, I assume their bones and ligaments and everything have adjusted. People who gain 20 lbs. in 6 months are risking stress fractures or other injury if they run too much, I think. (By the way, light people are much more likely to get osteoporosis, did you know that? Your body only maintains as much bone as it needs to support your weight. Super heavy people have mammoth bones. They almost never get osteoporosis. This is why I think running correlates with bone loss. Runners tend to be skinny, skinny people have more fragile bones.)
Sooooo, I want to start running a lot, and beat my PR for the 5K, and run a marathon. I want those things a lot. Here is my secret strategy: loose a lot of weight and THEN go and beat all my records. I think I was about 10 lbs. overweight when I beat my 5K record. Bet I could SMASH that record if I was at my ideal weight...Man, I wish some fabulously consistent runner would race a 5K with a 10 pound weight strapped to his back. Then we could have some data!
Anyway, I'm sure you are all wondering why I don't just eat a little less and run some more and just lose it really gradually. Nursing makes you lose weight, right? Wrong! Not for me. I have the appetite of a sumo wrestler in a donut shop when I am lactating. The same is true of running: I lost not a single pound after beginning to run 2 years ago or whenever it was. My appetite just adjusted to the missing calories. So anyway, for the last 6 months since I had my baby, I've been trying the gradual method in terms of eating. And guess what, it is just too boring to work for me. I am careful for about 2 days, and then apathy takes over and I pig out for a week. Honestly, this is what I've been doing these last months: Careful, apathy, pig out, apathy, depression, careful, apathy, etc.
So finally I made it a matter of prayer. Is there some way I can miraculously get out of this cycle? Please help me find a way and please be sure to drop it right in my lap, because sometimes I can be a bit dense about recognizing solutions. That was yesterday. God. He knows how I work; he knows that I have to be excited about stuff to accomplish it. Apathy is Lybi kryptonite.
So here's the solution part. When I went to the gym today they announced a weight loss challenge with a $1000 prize for the winner. Does that sound awesome to you? It does to me! It is a 10 week challenge, starting tomorrow...I know what you are thinking. You're thinking, "That Lybi, she doesn't understand that the challenge will be won by some 600 pound man who looses 70 pounds." But this is the cool part--it is % of body weight lost. So a 300 lb. person who looses 30 lbs. is the same as a 100 lb. person who looses 10 (darn her!). So you see, the unfair advantage to super big people is taken away. And I have a secret weapon! I'm Nursing! Plus, this weight really and truly does not belong on my body. It hasn't been there long enough to get super comfortable. So once I get my eating under control, I really think the pounds will absolutely FLY away. BTW the personal trainer that I got randomly assigned to is a nutrition expert--he is in school to become a Dietician. It was meant to be!
There are about 65 people in the challenge. And I really feel a little bit bad for those other 64, because I AM GOING TO WIN! I can FEEL it! Don't you dare underestimate me when I get seriously excited.
Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go eat a whole thing of pringles so that I will be all bloated tomorrow for the weigh-in. Oh the evilness...chuckle...the eVILity...hahahahahAHAHAHAH!
And in the slight, less than 1% chance that I don't win, I will at least loose a bunch of weight. The End.
Tune in next time to hear my sneaky, evil plan in full. And chime in if you have any helpful suggestions! | 