I am feeling so much stronger these days. Even after traveling I'm still good-- which usually wears me out. The gym work outs, weights, and circuit training, the elliptical and treadmill, and time away from running in the cold and on the ground are doing the trick. Last year and the year before were so hard--only about 6 weeks between marathon training cycles. I'm just not made to do it--especially not 2 years in a row. The Long Saturday runs in the cold and snow these past winters really got me down. I love 6-8 milers in the snow, but those 18-22's in the soggy spring snow right before DC Marathon actually made me cry toward the end. I was so broken down. It broke my will. And when there is no will, there is no way. You shouldn't need to ask yourself why you run. It should be what you want to do and it should inspire you -- not be like every other thing in life-- stealing away your time and energy. So I think I've put running back in it's place. I control it--it's not controlling me anymore. It's weird how I got into such a demented OCD cycle about it. I also think the problem in my liver/pancreas was exacerbated by the constant need for energy--overtaxing one of my weaker bodily system. It set offl the cycle of problems with the glycogen depletion and hypoglycemia. I needed to break my cycle, mix it up, get strong and find new ways to be fit. Cross Fit was a huge eye opener. I feel really good--though heavier and fatter. I'm just not so good at eating smaller amounts of food. It's absolutely depressing how little food you need to stay alive. Running longer distances does allow you to eat more without consequence. But I guess that's like learning how to use money by using credit card. It's not real money. | 