I came out to visit my parents for the next couple of weeks. Oh Colorado, I do love you. I did a night-time run since both of my parents work. I looped through the unfinished neighborhoods - equal part field and dream-house with a lake and a golf course to boot. Running in the dark always makes me go fast - something about not seeing the road stretching in front of me and trying to keep a step ahead of the bogeyman. I ran a moderate pace and averaged 7:54. I was good with that. My baby was screaming out of control when I got home. I've never seen him so upset. Sigh. The downside of running.
I've got to get more sleep. Its a matter of discipline.
1 mile warm-up, 1 mile cool-down, 4x800 fast with 400 slow between 3:31, 3:26, 3:20, 3:29, 7:44 avg. overall I probably should have done 6 800s today, but I left my kids with my Dad and I still had the memory of my baby crying out-of-control last night when I ran, so I just did 4. I felt like the 4 I did I pushed myself on and I took my warm-up and cool-down a little harder than usual too so at least I got worked-out. Were it not for this little place in the middle of nowhere that nobody knows about except my husband, I wouldn't have even done a speed work-out today. I kind of felt like going out for a nondescript 4 mile run and calling it good. But this darn fastrunning site MADE me do the run I knew I should. Three cheers.
4 miles pretty laid back at a 7:55 pace. Goodnight it was cold! I spent a lot of time trying to think of a way to breathe without using my mouth or my nose. I felt like every time I breathed it was like I was spraying a mist bottle at my face - like I was running the sprinklers on my lawn in December - it was nonsensical. Every breath added a layer of ice to my nose and cheeks. I thought that if I tapped my face with one of those triangle hammers that doctors whack across an innocent patient's knees to make sure they have a nervous system (or to get out some aggression - there have to be kinder ways to prove a person has an opperative nervous system) my whole face would have shattered in pieces on the ground in the form of an interesting Picasso. Yeah, it was that cold. It took me about a mile to know that I was telling myself the truth, but it was still WAY better than running on a treadmill.
On the positive side, I ran at night again so that my parents could watch my kids and this time I didn't think any criminal element was going to wrap me up in duct tape and put me in a cement mixer because there is no way any bad guy was going to be out looking for me on a night like this one. I had a teacher at church in high school who always told me to keep my eye on the donut and not on the hole. It has really stuck with me.
I did the same route as last night, but a whole second faster per mile. It was a 7:54 tonight. I was just going to run 3 miles because my parents kept telling me how incredibly cold it was going to be. They even suggested that I shouldn't go. I might have rolled my eyes at them except I saw my little kids sitting next to them on the couch watching a movie and I thought "geez I love my kids and I know I'm going to love them until I'm dead" and I decided to keep the eye roll to myself. I was all prepared to be knocked down by the cold, to wish that I had access to a treadmill, to die of frozen lungs - but I'm pretty sure it was warmer tonight than it was last night. It was still face-cracking cold, but slightly less face cracking cold than last night. So I extended the run to 4 miles. I even considered five miles but I'm planning on 5 tomorrow and 10 on Saturday and I'm still trying to bring my mileage up slowly enough not to give myself injuries. I've finally faced the fact that I'm in my 30's and my body isn't going to up and do whatever the heck I want it to, gosh.
Anyhow, tonight my body felt good, loose and content to be running. I didn't feel any numbness of leg or mind. In no way did I feel like I was improving as a runner tonight but I also didn't feel like I was DISimproving. It was simply a decent run.
Today was one of those days where I felt slightly off angle with the rest of the world. I was just a little annoyed, a little miffed, a little frustrated with everything. I didn't even really want to go running but running is usually my cure-all so off I went tonight while my parents, my sister, and her husband settled down to some very good-looking bowls of ice cream. But for once running really didn't make me feel better. I kind of slugged it at an 8:12 pace but I didn't get a step in that I truly found satisfaction or release in. Contemplating on it as I ran I figured part of it was that I wasn't doing the hill work-out that I wanted to do - I was feeling like a bit of a lazy bones. But most of it was that my missing-my-husband feelings were able to put a crack in the dam of my subconscious today and enough pity water came through to make me feel a little off-kilter.
Just before I left to run I checked in on a good friend's blog. She's been married almost eight years and hasn't been able to have a baby yet. She has had several adoptions fall through, a miscarriage and a heartbreaking loss of twins at 20 weeks gestation - but as much as it has been painful, she has come out with a sharpened appreciation for God and life. Whenever I feel like I need a dollop of humility and faith-strengthening, I turn to her. And tonight she told me that not only is she adopting a baby in a few weeks, but she is expecting a baby as well in five months. She called me on the phone after my run and we giggled and laughed and were amazed together for a while. And it reminded me that hard things pass, good things come - life is beautiful even with the blunt edges. And I think tomorrow's run will go better.
I don't know that my body felt much better running today, but my mind was much more at ease. My legs have been feeling heavy and sluggish all week. It might have to do with the lack of sleep. I still managed to keep a 7:58 pace. I kind of felt like knocking my watch against the ground to make sure it was working right because my legs definitely felt like they were going at an 8:45 pace. Give all the 45 second credit to my mind. I'm starting these long runs out thinking I'm going to take it easy, but I usually finish them briskly. I don't know if that's good or bad.
But I'll tell you what I do know, I love my long day runs. Love, love, love them. Because when you go eleven miles you can usually choose to go somewhere pretty and there is lots of time to focus on the details of the prettiness. Today I ran out in the prairie along a river. The yellows and browns of the grass and trees and leaves made me feel like I was running into an old-timey photo. Like maybe I'd run into a homestead dug-out where I'd find a dirty two-toothed farmer shooting the hat off of some guy all dressed in black trying to steal his horse. I didn't run into that though. I did run past an old shack that's probably been around since forever and it gave me a bit of the creeps to think that somebody or something might be hiding inside just waiting for me to pass so they or it good jump out at me and yell "Boogooody Boo!" or something frightening like that. That didn't happen either though. I just got me a quiet, beautiful run in. Nice.