Today was one of those days where I felt slightly off angle with the rest of the world. I was just a little annoyed, a little miffed, a little frustrated with everything. I didn't even really want to go running but running is usually my cure-all so off I went tonight while my parents, my sister, and her husband settled down to some very good-looking bowls of ice cream. But for once running really didn't make me feel better. I kind of slugged it at an 8:12 pace but I didn't get a step in that I truly found satisfaction or release in. Contemplating on it as I ran I figured part of it was that I wasn't doing the hill work-out that I wanted to do - I was feeling like a bit of a lazy bones. But most of it was that my missing-my-husband feelings were able to put a crack in the dam of my subconscious today and enough pity water came through to make me feel a little off-kilter.
Just before I left to run I checked in on a good friend's blog. She's been married almost eight years and hasn't been able to have a baby yet. She has had several adoptions fall through, a miscarriage and a heartbreaking loss of twins at 20 weeks gestation - but as much as it has been painful, she has come out with a sharpened appreciation for God and life. Whenever I feel like I need a dollop of humility and faith-strengthening, I turn to her. And tonight she told me that not only is she adopting a baby in a few weeks, but she is expecting a baby as well in five months. She called me on the phone after my run and we giggled and laughed and were amazed together for a while. And it reminded me that hard things pass, good things come - life is beautiful even with the blunt edges. And I think tomorrow's run will go better. |