Treadmill 14x8x5 with spurts of 18.5% incline at this pace.
As I was running, I got pondering on why I run 100-milers and the affect of DNFs. I remember when I went to my first 50-miler, 2004 White River 50 in Washington and looked at the very fit athletes there. I didn't know who these people were then, but I was watching Karl Meltzer, Hal Koerner, Ian Torrence, Nikki Kimble and others. I looked at my plumpy, unfit body and thought to myself, "What am I doing here? I'm such a poser. I'm pretending to be something I'm not." I felt very intimidated. Well, I ran anyway, and finished in dead last place, in 14:00:02. The cutoff was 14 hours. I was given credit for the finish. I then spent the next hour in the medical tent. They even hooked an IV up to me. It was embarassing. Well, I didn't give up. See 2004 results.
In another six weeks I ran in my first 100, the Bear 100. By mile 82, I again found myself in dead last place, experiencing a major bonk, something I had never felt before. By mile 87, I had to quit. I would have never made the next cutoff anyway. At the finish line I watched some runners finish who I had been running with earlier, including Hans Dieter. I had DNFed, they didn't. I commented to my family there that this sport was just way over my head. I would never be able to finish a 100-miler. For a few days I believed that. But then my stubborn determination kicked in. I had over-use injuries, trying to do too much, too soon, and couldn't really run for the next six weeks, but I didn't give up. I used that DNF to teach me something.
This morning as I thought about that again, I thought about a guy who DNFed my Pony Express Trail 100 this year. He did go 50 miles but then quit. For several days after the race he kept sending me emails pleading with me that I give him credit for finishing the 50-miler so he could keep a DNF off his resume. I refused. The rules were clear to me and others. I'm sure he still isn't happy with me as he looks at this month's ultrarunning magazine and doesn't see his name listed in the results. But I really hope he claims that DNF, recognizes it for what it is, and use it for motivation and improvement in the future. You learn so many good things about yourself depending on how you respond to a 100-mile DNF. Yes, you have put in so much time and effort and come up short, but that can really drive you to greater heights. In 2004, it was beyond my wildest dreams that I could ever really be a runer, that I could really rub shoulders with those fit athletes that I watched at the pre-race of 2004 White River 50. But now, I don't feel out of place. My "failures" have helped me push to new heights, even though I'm now an old man. I don't feel old at all and to me that is the best reward for all the hard work.
Yes, I've DNFed four 100-mile races. But I've finished 36 along the way. There is no way I could have done that without embracing my DNFs and learning from them. Anyway, that is the crazy things I was thinking about while running on the treadmill this morning. | 