One hour on the elliptical. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz I watched "Hell's Kitchen" (cooking "reality" show). An hour of my life I will never get back. I hope I never have to see that again. (I don't have a choice on what is on the TV).
Here you go, what does this have to do with running you ask? nothing, just like my life right now ;-). The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational
once again invited readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter
it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new
definition. Here are the winners:
1. Cashtration=20 (n.): The act of
buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an
indefinite period of time.
2. Ignoranus : A person who's both stupid and a bum.
3. Intaxicaton : Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
4.Reintarnation : Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
5.
Bozone ( n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright
ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little
sign of breaking down in the near future.
6. Foreploy : Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
7. Giraffiti :
Vandalism
spray-painted very, very high
8. Sarchasm : The gulf between the author of sacrastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
9. Inoculatte : To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
10. Osteopornosis : A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
11.
Karmageddon : It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really
bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a
serious bummer.
12. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
13. Glibido : All talk and no action.
14. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
15. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and
cannot be cast out.
17. Caterpallor ( n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.
The
Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to its
yearly contest in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings
for common words. And the winners are:
1. Coffee, n. The person upon whom one coughs.
2. Flabbergasted, adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.
3. Abdicate, v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4. Esplanade, v. To attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. Willy-nilly, adj. Impotent.
6. Negligent, adj. Absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.
7. Lymph, v. To walk with a lisp.
8. Gargoyle, n. Olive-flavored mouthwash.
9.Flatulence, n. Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.
10.Balderdash, n. A rapidly receding
hairline.
11. Testicle, n. A humorous question on an exam.
12. Rectitude, n. The formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
13.Pokemon, n. A Rastafarian proctologist
14. Oyster, n. A person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.
15. Frisbeetarianism, n. The belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
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