The Qwer Old Fella's Marathon Method

5:30 a.m. - 3.5 miles - slow and sluggish. Legs felt drained. Must top up on the water. I've planned another 3.5 miles this evening - could be quite a sight: might be mistaken for a drunk swaying back from an all-dayer at the pub. Ah, the bitter-sweet memories.

RHR 54

5:30 p.m. - 3.5 miles with a bit of zing. Felt much better than this morning; at times I seemed to be running rather than snailing. Spotted a few of the lads stumbling back from the pub. They looked stoated. Doubt they spotted me - I was zipping along. I can just imagine them tottering at the doorstep saying to themselves, 'You aren't zubed. Concentrate. Don't say too much. The more you prattle, the more you're scattering the fist of dirt over your casket. They fall through the door like an inuit at the end of a marathon on the equator and it all kicks-off. Ah, the bitter-sweet memories.

5:00 a.m. – 3.5 miles. No drama. Thought I may have struggled after yesterday’s double, but everything was tickety-boo. Got another 3.5 planned for tonight and a mammoth core and strength session: might go for 10 push-ups. Watch out ACorn and Jake, on the push up stakes, I’m coming after you. Be afraid, very afraid…

Okay, it’s time to be serious. Yesterday, Tom Slick asked a pertinent question – what is/are my goals? So here they are:

Short term – Shed more weight and when I get down near the region of 140lbs-147lbs, I’ll start training with serious focus towards my medium term and long term goals. I need to get down to this weight so that I lessen my chances of getting injured when I inject long runs and speed and tempo work. While the weight slowly vaporizes, my heart will become more efficient, as will all the other physiological stuff. My diet will improve. My strength will improve – yes, I know you’re quaking with fear and your stringy runners’ arms are shaking in the wind, kids. My flexibility will improve. My writing, hopefully, will improve. And so on. Race wise, I’m looking at a 15 miler in August 2012. It’s called the ‘Most Beautiful Race In The World’ AKA, The Killarney Maxi Marathon or something like that. It’s aided and if you check out the website – don’t know how to do all that high fangled link stuff – you’ll see that in one of the photo’s there is a sign saying, 'leprechauns this way'. It’s blarney: the leprechauns don’t live there. I’m the only human who knows where leprechaun land is and, of course, there is only one leprechaun left. And we all know that his future isn’t looking too rosy. He has revised the time I need to run in the 2013 Cork marathon – see below for details. Apropos of the 15 mile race, I’ll take sub 1hr 20 mins – it’s very aided: like, jump off a cliff, aided.

Medium term goals – get a decent 10k in the bank (low 31 mins – probably at the Irish nationals in spring 2013), run sub 2:25 for the 2013 Cork marathon, which will be my first marathon. This might seem ridiculous but I’ve a sneaky suspicion that I’ll achieve these goals, so long as I don’t drop dead on my first hill session or get injured.

Long term – in the spring of 2015, I want to break the world best for the marathon in the 50-55 year old age category. Stop laughing. I can hear you. I mean it, stop laughing. I’ll have you know, I’ve started doing push ups and, here’s a secret: I was a handy lightweight boxer. Yeah, you've ceased your chuckling now, haven't you? After breaking the world best for the marathon – he states nonchalantly – I’ll reevaluate things.

Now, back to more mundane things. I need to eat some nuts and seeds, drink some water and visit the health food shop – my new hobby.

RHR 53.

6 p.m. - 3.5 steady. Not bad, not too bad at all. Like yesterday, I seemed to have a bit more zip in the legs. Loads of folk out walking and jogging. Have to be more alert at night as the roads are plagued with cars.

Did my strength and core workout when I got back:

10 push ups - nothing to worry about ACorn and Jake. 15 crunches. 10 T.A. crunches on each side. 1 x plank (25 sec). My 5 year old daughter told me to get my buttocks down while I was planking. 'Is that it,' she said when I collapsed. 'Pathetic.' Ho hum.

11:00 a.m. - 5 miles. 2.5 out and back. First half of the run felt fine and dan-day, clipped along at 7:30 pace. Ah, but the second half was a different story. Wind and gentle incline - turned watch off so that I wouldn't feel destroyed when I crawled home. At least the miles are in the bank. Ran later today because I was up most of the night with a sickening child - nothing major.

On the food front, experimented with a cheeky little avocado and orange spread speckled with cayenne pepper. Jakers, what a creation. No more butter or margarine for the old fella. From now on, Bam's AOC spread will grace his homemade wholegrain bread (I haven't made any bread yet, but I intend to get round to it - it's a bit like P.N.F. , M.E.T., A.I.S., postional release and trigger pointing: you know you should do them, but you never get round to it. Well all that's a-changing).

On the positional release front, it's a must if you suffer with aching muscles and tendons. I especially recommend it for lower limb stiffness etc. Don't stretch. Do positional release. Amazing stuff.

RHR 52

5:00 a.m. - 3.5 easy. gentle plod. Felt okay, considering the scant sleep I've had recently. Intend to drop in a nap today, prior to getting out again for another 3.5 miles.

Busy day today: got to go food shopping - we pass McDonalds on the way to the supermarket. Will I cave to temptation? Time will tell...

5:30 p.m. – 3.5 miles progressive without watch. Slow first mile but picked it up nicely as the run went along.

I’m starting to get more organized. I’ve bought in rucks of quinoa, buckwheat, lentils, seeds, nuts, peanut butter and a new discovery – almond butter. Almond butter on a toasted wholegrain bagel is ambrosial. I also invested in oats – something I’ve never eaten. Oats remind me of baby puke, but I’m going to give them a try.

Everything seems to be going to plan. My only concern is that my weight seems to have stuck on 162lbs. I suspect my new muscularity[ossityness] – from my push ups - might be responsible for the scales struggling to give an accurate reading of my progress. I’m sure my body fat has dropped. I’ll keep a close eye on this. I think the weight will drop as the muscle-fuelled furnace fires fervently forever.

Had a chia bar before we went shopping. Managed to give McDonalds a miss, but the beautiful smell of grease and fat lingering in the air from the restaurant was so very tempting. Sometimes, I surprise myself with my steadfast resoluteness. The truth is the old lady wouldn’t let me go to McDonalds. Said we didn’t have time. Yeah, right. When don’t you have time to slip in a cheeky McDonalds?

RHR 53

5:30 a.m. – 3.5 miles recovery run. Don’t know what I was supposed to be recovering from, but it felt like a jog. Started slow and stayed slow to the finish. Will do something brisker tonight.

The ‘healthy’ chocolate nut fudge went down a treat. Nabbed the recipe off some ultra distance running site. The ankle biters helped me make it and apart from the fight over who would lick the spoon, it all went smoothly.

Ingredients: 8 pieces of dark organic chocolate. Half cup of coconut milk. 3-4 TBSP’s of organic peanut butter/organic almond butter – in fact any nut butter will do the job. Handful of almonds. 3-4 TBSP’s oats. Handful of raisins. Pinch of vanilla/splash of vanilla essence.

Method: heat chocolate gently in coconut milk (couple of mins). Stir in nut butter until you get a creamy texture – about 30 secs. Add in rest of ingredients and stir. Slop on to a baking tray/plate and smooth out into a half inch slab. Pop in fridge. Let it set and then scoff it.

5:30 p.m. – 3.5 steady. The rain was pinning down, so instead of a sharp blast I opted for a steady run in the rain. Great fun. Puddles everywhere. Cars, trucks and vans splashed me. It was like being a kid again.

So here’s the thing on the food front: sweet potatoes. I’ve had them cooked and mashed with cinnamon and nutmeg and all that palaver. But today I had them grated and raw with grated, raw carrot and grated, raw beetroot alongside grilled salmon in a lemon, chilli, and virgin olive oil dressing and some watercress and baby leaf spinach on the side. Superb. Tomorrow, I might try raw broccoli. But then again, come to think of it, that might being going a tad too far.

RHR 53 

5:30 a.m. - 3.5 miles progressive. First 2 miles slow and then increased the pace in final 1.5 miles; nothing startling.

Yipeeeeee. Lost a pound. I think this could be the start of something. If this weight keeps slipping away, the old body should find it easier to lug itself around the streets of Tralee.

RHR 53

7:30 a.m. - 3.5 miles progressive. First 2 miles slow and then picked up the pace. That's 40 miles for the week. Although that was quite a big percentage jump in miles, the worn out body handled the load well. Will keep the miles around the 40 mark for the next couple of weeks before easing up to 50 mpw. Pleased that the lard's slipping off.

When I was out this morning, I imagined myself running alongside Jake K in the Philly marathon tomorrow. We we're tearing it up. The African lads were about 100m's ahead of us and failing. Jake was working hard but he looked comfortable. Your old dad felt like he was out for a Sunday morning stroll. Jake didn't know that the old fella next to him was yours truly. I dropped in a cheeky, 'Stick at it, Jake; they're coming back to us.'

He took off his shades and gave me a hard look. I noticed his pumped biceps; even his acronium process has the look of a Greek God.

'Bam,' he said. 'Is that you?'

' 'Tis, lad,' I said. 'Now lets get away after those laggards, up ahead of us.'

We'd just gone through the 22 mile mark and disaster struck. I stopped and Jake pulled away.

'Go get 'em, lad,' I shouted after him.

 I watched as he reeled in the leaders and then eased away from them.

'Come on, soft boy,' a voice came from the crowd. 'You know you want it.'

There was Russ, stood with a Big Mac and Fries in his right hand, smiling like he knew the meaning of life. In his left hand, he held his new pink umbrella that he purchased in Target and now uses to shelter under, when he runs in stormy weather:)

RHR 53