1. Break the world record for the marathon in the 50+ age group, when I'm 50 in 2015.
2. Never wear compression socks.
Personal:
Married with two girls (6 and 10).
The Qwer Old Fella's Marathon Method is a four year experiment.
The first year (2012) was about getting back into running, staying off the smokes and booze, while sticking to a healthy eating plan and shedding mountains of lard. All boxes ticked.
Year two (2013 - age: 48) Injured Jan through March. Build back up and work on my 5k speed. Goal 15:45.
Year three (2014) will be about doing my first marathon in the spring. (Just for the experience and on a tough course - maybe Tralee; goal time, 2:30ish.) Then begins the prep work for Berlin 2015
Year four (2015) is all about breaking the world record for the marathon in the 50+ age group - it's only 2:19 :).
The above might sound nuts; it is, but then I'm nuts. Please do not copy any of the training I do: if you do, you are likely to end up running like me - not a good idea.
The idea is to have a laugh along the way. If I fail, I don't know what I'll do - my whole belief system will crumble and I suspect that this little rock might just stop spinning for a couple of seconds. Jakers, I better not fail for all our sakes. That's some burden, even for SuperBam.
Felt better than yesterday; nice chug around my regular loop. Will drop in a couple of 5 milers this week and start next week off with a 7 miler. Intention is to build up to 40 mpw through November. Target weight for end of November is a wobbly 159lbs. Weight today, a rather grotesque 167lbs. I reckon by the end of January I should be coming in around the 142lb mark. I'll be clocking 60mpw by the end of January (easy pace should be 6:30). Will drop in a few hill sessions in January and introduce some threshold runs in February. By the end of March I hope to be knocking out 80mpw- then I can start knuckling down to some proper training. For now, 3.5 miles @ snail pace is hard enough. RHR was a steady 56 this morning.
Replaced the old scales with digital ones. Weight - 164lbs (3lbs lighter than yesterday, according to the new scales; for some reason, I think I'll stick with the new, all singing, all dancing scales).
Woke to an amusing stiffness - from my core and strength workout yesterday. Lumbered out of bed. Dressed and took to the streets. Odd how an extra 1.5 miles can feel so deadly. Oh well.
On the bright side, I've dropped another pound; better be careful not to shed too much weight too quickly. Don't want the body to gorge on itself. Perhaps I might treat myself to some kumquats and a juicy pear. The pear is suppossed to be excellent for boron. Never tried kumquats, but Keats mentioned them in The Eve of St Agnes. If the old lady lets me out of the house today, I might purchase a handful of kumquats and gobble them up.
RHR 56.
Deeply saddened to hear that the legend with the lethal left hook and the heart of a thousand men passed away.
5:00 a.m. - 3.5 miles relaxed and untimed. Enjoyed this morning's pootle.
The old lady didn't let me out yesterday, so I didn't get the chance to scoff a handful of kumquats. But today was a different matter...
I must confess: I didn't nibble on kumquats; I chomped a filthy MacDonalds - oh, it was delicious. Sweet chilli chicken wrap with fries and a strawberry milkshake. Now, as I sit here typing, I can feel the badness glugging and sludging in my guts.
5:00 a.m. – 5 miles with 4 easy and a 0.5 gentle pick-up in the final mile.
The best laid schemes of mice and men: intended to work hard after yesterday’s feast, but decided that it was better to knock out the 5 miles rather than bail out after 3.5 miles.
So the run went swimmingly. The big, bright, beautiful, insouciant moon (note: must stop employing adjectives to carry weak nouns) sat over Jupiter and while I plodded along I had an epiphany. But the veracity of the epiphany necessitated my digital scales delivering some unlikely information – I had to have dropped 1lb from yesterday. So I gave my new fangled scheme a boost and banged out the 0.5 mile pick-up and it worked. When I weighed myself, I’d shed 1lb. Ho, ho, I thought. I’m going to rake in some serious coin.
As with all great schemes, there’s a catch. Here’s the rub: I need to pluck up the courage to pitch my proposition to ACorn. ACorn is the missing link (metaphorically speaking – I don’t mean he’s gorillaesque because he bangs out thousands of push ups, I mean, I need him to facilitate my scheme/business idea).
For now, I need to think it through, but my idea will make me rich and famous (not so wise for a guy on a mafia hit-list - not that I am) and ACorn should make some serious wedge from the kickback I give him…
RHR 56 and rising with excitement.
Must make a batch of chia bars today and a pot of red lentil soup, lightly spiced with cayenne pepper and paprika - not quite the same as a Sausage and Egg McMuffin. Ho hum.
– 3.5 miles. Lay in the scratcher and listened to the wind howling and the rain peppering the windowpane. Didn’t fancy it. But up I got and away I went. Legs felt heavy and tired.
Made quinoa (as a cereal) for the three ladies. Added some organic pear and organic apple, milled goji berries and flaxseed, a sprinkle of ground cinnamon (great stuff) and simmered in almond milk. Compliments to the chef.
Thought some more about the idea I want to pitch to ACorn…
Magazines and chat shows and reality TV are bloated with blancmange[rs] who have molted lard by eating healthy and exercising. Fair play and all that. What if you took a 46 year-old man who smoked and boozed and ate rubbish food and presented with high cholesterol and high blood pressure, and you managed to transform him into a sub marathon runner in 20 months? Perhaps at the 2013 Cork marathon. Sounds amazing. Hold on, there’s more. The sub is merely a piece of the jigsaw…
When the aforementioned fella turns fifty, he breaks the world record for the 50-55 year-old master’s category, which currently stands at . Sweet as an almond. But there’s more. What if, and only if, (apologies to the wise guy and Godfather of modal logic, John Lemmon) the amazing chap does all of this by eating Sausage and Egg McMuffins as part of a balanced and healthy diet. Now we are getting somewhere.
McDonalds will want more than a quarter pound’s worth of flesh from this fella. They’ll want him all over the world eating Sausage and Egg McMuffins. Ho, ho. You with me ACorn?
So what ACorn needs to do is whisper the secret in his good lady's ear who, in turn, needs to have a chat with her good father – who has some serious connections with McDonalds – and he drops the proposal on the CEO’s desk, over a Latte. Oh yes – rubs hands.
Nothing in life’s easy. Lots could go wrong with this plan (I will present and address those concerns tomorrow). One thing’s for sure - imho - we get one chance at this adventure, so we should grab the quarter pounder with both hands and get munching.
Rest day - woke at 6:10 and felt like I wanted to get up and out on the road. Decided to stay in bed. That's a wise head on a tubby body. Allow the body time to recover from all those strenuous miles.
So, on my active rest day I plan to walk to the wholefood/organic shop in town and scan the shelves. I'm reading Patrick Holford's, The Optimum Nutrition Bible; I fear I might metamorphose from a T-Rex into a brontosaurus. I've given up booze and smokes and now I'm considering giving up everything - slurps his coffee.
Made a bean and pulse chill-ay this morning, think I'll have it with some rice - need to suss out what is the best rice. It's all very confusing and terrifying.
Problem to consider: health food shop is only a mile away from McDonalds. Maybe I should go back to bed...
RHR an incredible 52. That age group record - 2:19 marathon - for the 50-55 banding is looking more and more likely.
