Age is just a number.

Steve, I have been praying for you! Sometimes in life the hardest thing to do is to take the first step. As i tell my friends and family, you sometimes have to go through a door to really see if that is what Gods wants you to do, in any situation. God will never leave you or forsake you. God bless you in all you do.

Hi Steve, That is a very insightful and exposed entry. It is good that you are first able to explore yourself in such depth and second share it in a venue to which you know you will probably get both support and criticism. As we have discussed on a number of occasions I think you are a very thoughtful person and I do not think that you take discussions lightly. I agree with Barry and will only add that I believe that God respects his people no matter how they chose to come to him. I have always held that I have felt closer to God while outside, be it hiking or running than I have at church. This morning I started with a family run and then went to church. Though the sermon was better than usual the time together with my family running in a beautiful cool breeze was much more spiritual. I think at different stages in life we may need more organized religion but whatever means gets you to God or a spiritual well being that you are the most comfortable with is the way to go. Being an outsider I am not sure how much my opinion counts but one of the only "hang-ups" I have had with the LDS Church after having lived here for 4 yr now is the very point that you bring up. Consistency is key and being a researcher studying diabetes I know for a fact that over eating and poor exercise is much more of a health concern than alcohol or caffeine. But that is beyond the point that I want to make here. I am sure you will continue to explore this decision and come to the best conclusion for you and your life.

He that believeth on me, as the scripture hath said, out of his belly shall flow rivers of living water John 7:38

Steve if you have faith and have a love relationship with Jesus then he will point you where you need to go. No flesh can help you in where you feel the Spirit of God. There's times I feel a electrifying spirit that God uses me in the Gift of the Spirit and speaking in tongues and give interpretations (READ 1 Corinthians 12:4-12). Now if I was LDS I would be condemned. That's why God has put me in a stream of a different religion. That's what you have to find.

Caffeine there's evidence it's good for you, and we all know it's in Gels. There's no way I could go without. I love LDS people and have many friends and have no problem with the religion. God just chose me to have a different spiritual faith. Try a Christian Church. It will blow you away at first. But you feel the Power of God and not just going through a structured schedule like service.

Thanks for the supportive comments guys. Very enlightening and useful right now for sure.

Hmmm. Interesting post Steve. Also out of my usual realm of expertise but I won't let that stop me...

When I moved to Utah in 2002, I was pretty ignorant of the LDS Church. I think the biggest thing that surprised me was how much it is way more than just a religion. It's a culture. Leaving it isn't like leaving the Baptists for the Methodists. It's turning your back on a society and culture you may have known your entire life. Also, since the LDS church claims an exclusive monopoly on God's truth, lots of people will not see your choice as a personal decision, but as a rejection of The Truth. So good luck with that!

I would give yourself some time before attending another church on a regular basis. I think you were on the right track last Sunday. Allow yourself some space and give yourself some time to reflect.

One more thought. Human beings are contradictory, confusing, and inconsistent. So it doesn't pay to expect consistency from them - even Mormons! But you will find the same conflits in virtually every church.

I always think of the priest in the movie Rudy. "Rudy, there are only two things I know with absolute certainty. There is a God, and I'm not him."

Steve, I've been praying for you over the years as well. Will continue to do so. Just remember that while God's people are sinful, we do live under His grace. People aren't perfect, but God is. And fortunately, He loves us unconditionally. Feel free to contact me anytime.

Steve just to concluded my final thoughts, the best thing you can do is turn on some worship music and get in your own room and seek the Lord for help and understanding and wisdom on where he wants you placed. My wife and I will pray for you.

I agree with all of you and I was thinking about this last night and I came to the conclusion that I need to really just work on my own character and not worry about anything or anyone else for that matter.

Our relationship with God is personal in nature and as such in the end he will have the last word when it comes to our own personal salvation.

It's always been a bit of a question to me also why the Word of Wisdom seems a bit inconsistent. Why someone can overeat, eat lots of sugar, junk food, not exercise, and yet be deemed worthy to enter the temple, and someone else who has heard about all the health benefits of let's say tea, specifically green tea, and drinks that for health benefits can be denied a temple recommend. I've come to the conclusion that I'll just have to live with that seeming inconsistency and realize that no organized religion is perfect, all will have some problems, things we don't agree with, but for me the LDS church provides a lot of happiness and spiritual comfort. I wish you the best and hope to see you at our group sometime!

I pray that you find and strengthen YOUR relationship with God. He is there for you, regardless of what denomination or organization to which you subscribe. Find a community of believers that support and nourish you in pursuing your relationship and don't let any man tell you how your relationship should be. God bless you!

Great thread! I hope you receive the encouragement/support we all need as humans (yet I agree w/many of the comments suggesting you can't always rely on it). Sounds as though you have some great friends on this blog and I'm fully convinced that God reveals Himself to all who genuinely seek Him fully with their heart. Keep plugging away physically, spiritually, etc. Seems as though you have much to be grateful for! (Love your Isaiah 40 quote)

Cheryl- You are always the voice of reason.

Rockness-You're right I do. Thank you.

Jeff-You are definitely right. I know because like I was saying I'm accountable to him in the end after all is said and done.

Very interesting post. I am not religious, never have been, but I have always been amazed and impressed by those who are devout and who follow the guiding principles of their religion. I have been equally amazed and unimpressed by people who selectively choose to follow the guiding principles yet feel it is their calling and right to tell me and others why their lifestyle and beliefs are better than mine. I don't have many answers but I do know that it's better to be true to yourself than live a life constrained by ideas, rules, doctrine, etc. that you can't agree with.

I am glad that you are coming to terms with these big questions and I hope you continue to find clarity in your life. Just promise to let me know when you've figured it all out because I could use some pointers. :)

I'm sure it was hard to not be able to baptize your son, Steve.

I know you have had your struggles over the years and am sure they will continue. I don't have any answers on the religion front for you, but I do think that God wants us each to try to do the very best we can and treat others the best we can. I know that religion and sprirituality play a large part in my life and have kept me sane, but I have also seen far too many people using their religion to judge others and make them feel bad. There was only one perfect human and we are all just trying to do the best we can. As long as we keep on trying and don't give up, I think that counts for an awful lot.

Not to push this into an abstract level, but I know plenty of people who have lied their way into the temple and many people who will not go because they judge themselves far too harshly. I would have to think that God loves all his children and will take our entire life's circumstances into account whenever he needs to judge us.

Hang in there and keep on running!