Today was a really rough day. I didn't have a good workout this morning, and I have been pretty down on myself ever since.
We met at the Olympic Oval this morming. The track was packed with runners from all over. The workout was 4xone mile (not to be confused with 4x1600). Anyways, we did about 3 miles of warmup--2 jogging and one of speed changes. Based off of the warmup, I wasn't sure how I was going to feel. Bill wanted us to hit 5:40. We got about 800 recovery. With Nat and a few of her teammates from BYU there, 5:40 seemed reachable. To boost myself up, I thought back to track when I did mile repeats in the fall at Mesquite and closed with a 5:28 mile.
From the start of the first mile, I didn't feel strong. I was struggling to stay with the group. I felt kind of light headed, and my legs wouldn't go. Also, I really hate falling off of the pace, especially when I know what I am capable.
Anyways, the workout just really made me question myself. I don't know if I will be in good enough shape coming back to SUU. I feel like I have been putting in thework, but, after today, I am not sure if I am ready. I want to be getting better, but feeling so slow and miserable makes it hard to feel motivated. Is the pain and frustration worth it when you're not seeing results?
I don't know. Today has been tough. I guess I just need to get it out of my mind and keep moving forward, but it isn't easy for me. Hopefully tomorrow feels better. I just want to start feeling good and seeing results. I think a big part of that comes with attitude.
| 