20 miles on the stationary bike on resistance of 1! yippeee! I am almost three week out from surgery. My knee is still black and blue, but the swelling has gone down quite a bit. I was on that miserable thing for 2 hours yesterday. It did nothing for me but give me a really sore bum! I couldn't remember my password to get on here for a minute. I haven't been able to get on and see all of your running fun and torture (that I love). I just don't know how long it will take before I can read your blogs and not cry and feel sad the rest of the day. I hope I can get a grip on this soon. I am not crying all day anymore. I have had enough time to let the bad news soak in. I still don't know how I will live my life without running. I have had a lot of time to reminisce on why I love to run. So here it is.... I remember when I was 16, my sister and her friend both got divorced from husbands that were cheating on them. They used to take me everywhere and I loved it. I would run a 7 mile loop with them while they would cry and be angry and vent out their frustrations of the divorce......all the while I would listen and be amazed that I could run that far and love it. When I was 18, I got engaged (young I know). We were together for 2 years. We broke up and I thought my heart would truly break. It was the most difficult thing I had ever gone through up to that point. I remember one morning he drove past me as I was running to the gym and he stopped at a Jiffy Lube and by the time I got there he and his new girlfriend were sitting on the grass under a tree waiting for his car. I never got to see her face. I wish I did because I would have loved to see her. They are married now. His friends told me that she was ugly, fat and controlling.....I think they were trying to make me feel better! haha! I remember running until I couldn't run any more. That was when running became cathartic for me. Running helped my heart heal. Both my mom and my brother were diagnosed with cancer two weeks before my mission in Indiana. It was honestly more than I could handle. My mom's cancer was malignant and they thought my brother's was benign....it ended up being malignant and almost killed him about 9 months later. I remember one companion would sit on the grass at a golf course that we lived by and read her scriptures while I would run around on the golf cart trails. She would scream at me that she only did it out of love....because you have to learn to love your companions. haha! Running was the only release of stress that I had. My comps drove me crazy! When I came home I would run up to Lake Blanche and Lillian up Big Cottonwood two to three times a week all by myself. I'd always try to beat my previous time. When I was engaged to my now husband, his family didn't approve of me because I was attending Salt Lake Community College at the time. They believe that anyone that goes to a community college is -- as they said, "white trash". They thought that I was not good enough for their brilliant son....which is true. I am a little white trash and just can't help it! haha! I remember I was bent on calling off the engagement and I remember going out for a run and during the run, I felt like it would all be okay and I could deal with it. All was okay and they love me now. It did take a couple of years, a degree from the UofU and lots of running to help me through it. My husband caboshed the hiking by myself. He was too worried that something would happen to me. I was pretty naive back then. Now I am too much of a scaredy cat to go by myself. I remember running during college at the U. It helped me get through my hours of reading, studying and writing papers. I would throw on my shoes and run hard for 8 miles and when I came home, I could concentrate and felt like I could tackle anything. I would run 6 miles every day and 12 on Saturdays before I had my first child. I ran up until about 4 months with all of my kids and always after to help me with the postpartum hormones and weight gain. After my second child and getting told that I had textbook MS. I couldn't run for a whole year. It was the most depressing and worst year of my life! I got better, running my first marathon dragging the left side of my body with me and not being able to lift my leg for 5 days was all worth it when I crossed the finish line and the high that I had for weeks after. Everyone would always try to get me to enter a half or full marathon. I just didn't get it. Why pay money to drive far away and run in a large group of people. It took my first half in 2009 and I finally got it and have been hooked since. I LOVE TO RUN.....I can't imagine my life without it. I LOVE to hike. I can't imagine not being on the summit of a mountain again. I always hike Mt. Olympus on my birthday for my birthday present. I am so, so sad. I was thinking I would run 40 this year on my 40th birthday like Walter did. I can't imagine anything more fun honestly.... Sad. I got on the scale this morning and I am down to 105! YIKES! I have turned into a flabby patty! yuck! I have lost all of my hard earned muscle tone. I would give just about anything to go run my favorite 8 mile loop and up to Bells Canyon Reservoir and back to my house for a super fun 10 miler. A friend of mine sent me some texts and links to Kangoo Jumps. Has anyone ever heard of or tried these things? They are suppose to be great for people with joint or feet problems. It takes the impact off of your joints. I have tried to find some research on them that didn't come from the company. I will ask my orthopedic surgeon what he thinks when I go in at the end of June. I hope they actually do what they say and I could run again. I don't care if I look ridiculous! let me know if you know anything about them! Thanks for all of the texts, private messages and messages on here. You will never know how much it has meant to me. People that don't run, just don't understand what I am going through. XOs
| 
