Breaking the Wall

Day of rest. Went to church. We had a great Christmas program. While I sat and listened to the music some thoughts and memories came into my mind that I feel are worth sharing. Last night during dinner we were learning Russian. While explaining the Russian word жук which means beetle, I remembered a funny poem that my mom likes to recite while playing chess in the middle of a violent attack about a capitalist beetle and a worker beetle perishing in the class struggle. This time I decided to look up some information about that poem, and with the help of Google quickly found its full text along with the biography of the author. As soon as I read that the author was born in 1898 and died in 1937 in Leningrad I had a suspicion about the cause of his death, and without reading further to confirm it decided it was time to teach Benjamin a history lesson. I told Benjamin what I knew and asked him to guess the most likely cause of his death. With a few hints he got the answer I was looking for - Stalin's purges. Sure enough, further reading confirmed that my suspicion was correct - arrested on November 19, 1937, executed by firing squad on November 24, 1937 for counter-revolutionary activity and being a part of Trotsky plot, pretty much the exact same "crime" for which both of my grandfathers were sent to labor camps in 1938.

It is quite amazing how the ruling system once established is capable of keeping the people under oppression. My mother and my aunt happily recited "We thank comrade Stalin for our happy childhood" while their fathers were in prison for no other cause than being perceived  as capable enough to present a threat to Stalin's rule and their mothers were scrambling to feed the family while living under constant fear of being arrested themselves for their relationship to the "enemy of the people".

So as I sat and listen to Christmas music the life of my grandfathers was on my mind. First of all, I felt extremely thankful for having been born in 1973, having the ability to learn English, and having a talent for programming computers. Then I wondered what I would do if all of a sudden I found myself in the Soviet Union in 1937. At first I felt completely hopeless. Then a few minutes later I remembered meeting a Russian professor of computer science who taught at Weber State back in 1993. He told a story of his daring miraculous escape from the Soviet Union around that time. He found a place to hide under a train and was able to avoid the Soviet border guard checks as the train crossed the border. He eventually made it to the United States where he later joined the LDS church. A remarkable man in many ways, not the least being old enough to be able to tell this story in 1993, and have a mind capable of adapting enough to teach computer science in English.

Being under that train must have been a very intense moment. If you are discovered, you can count on being executed. But on the other hand, if you have a mind that can learn computer science and stay with its rapid development well enough to still teach it professionally 50 years later in a foreign language, under the Stalin's system you are just as doomed as the man found hiding under a train crossing the border. So he took his chances, and he was blessed for his faith.

Thinking about that made me feel thankful again. I had my set of struggles getting to the United States most of which ironically came from the US government, which was acting like it forgot why it was even allowed to exist in the first place, but I did not have to ride under a train. Now that I see that the Lord has blessed me so much, what I am going to do with it. I hope something good.

As these thoughts went through my mind, I reflected on the mercies of the Lord Jesus Christ and His great power to guide and to lift. I thought about the extent of His love for us. Sure there is a reason to rejoice. For a good portion of my life I lived in fear that some tyrant, some murderer, or some tormentor will somehow make my life difficult or perhaps terminate it. When I acquired faith in Christ, I realized that I did not need to worry about that at all. Evil men can kill the body, but they have no power over the spirit, and it is the condition of the spirit that will matter in the end. And there is only one person who has the final say in where my spirit is going to end up, and it is myself. The only thing that can ruin me in the long run is my sins. God will not judge me for the things I do not choose. What a liberating realization that was.  

A.M. Ran with the kids, Rob, and Adam. Total of 12 miles. Benjamin did 8.5, Jenny and Julia 3, Joseph 2, Jacob 1. William 0.5. One slippery run, I fell down several times, but it all ended well - no injuries, not even scrapes as the snow was soft.

A.M. 12 miles total. Most of it with the kids.Benjamin did 7, Jenny and Julia 3, Joseph 2, Jacob 1, William 0.5. Today is the day we officially remember the birth of Christ. There must be a reason why we count the time from the year He was born, even though this happened more than 2000 years ago, and I want to bear my witness that it is not just a tradition. He did something that is worth remembering for this long and much longer - He paid for our sins. When we realize what those sins do to us, and that we cannot go through life without at least some, we will know why that is a big deal to have those sins atoned for. Merry Christmas to all.

A.M. Matthew Alexander Pachev was born this morning at 7:49 AM at our home. Sarah had the first contraction of significance at 4:30 AM. So it was a relatively fast labor. Everything was normal up until she started pushing him out. With just a little bit left to go we had a little scare - our midwife Cathy and her helper were not picking up the heart beat on their monitor. So they gave Sarah the oxygen and told her to push as hard as she could as she coached her through it. I got to witness the zeal of a tiger mother when the feels the life of her baby is in danger. Matthew soon came out, and with a little bit of help started breathing normally. Later Cathy told us about a delivery she was a part of where they could not register the heart beat for 45 minutes. This one required a transport to the hospital, but it all ended well - the baby came out healthy. Cathy has a great record - out of more than 1,000 home deliveries with all kinds of unexpected turns all of them resulted in live birth, and very few required hospital transport. After watching her tackle this problem today I have to say this is not just luck.

 Matthew was 20.25 inches tall and weighed 7 lb. Two minutes after his birth Sarah's phone started playing Called To Serve. This is her default ringtone which helps her not get annoyed when the phone rings at a bad time. This time, however, Called To Serve had a different meaning. It was her running partner Shelly calling to see if she could take the kids.

 Benjamin, Jenny and Julia took care of Joseph, Jacob, William and Stephen in the meantime. They were so organized that we never even knew they were in the house. Once we were ready for them, we invited them in to see their new brother. Afterwards Benjamin took his siblings on their runs while I stayed with Sarah to make sure she was OK. He did 7 miles himself, Jenny did 3, Julia 2, Joseph 2, Jacob 1, William 0.5. Benjamin even ran a little bit with Stephen.

Then Benjamin and I traded places. He stayed with his mother to make sure was was OK while I ran 8 miles. The road conditions were very difficult today. It took me 1:06:04 to run 8 miles. On the positive side, I scored zero falls which is better than the last few runs. This run put my current pair of Crocs over 2000 miles.

A.M. Ran with the kids. There was a lot of snow. Our usual route was not passable. We ran on the streets. Jenny and Joseph did 2, Jacob 1, Julia 3.5, Benjamin 7, William 0.5. I ended up with 13.5 total.

A.M. Total of 10.5. I am cutting the mileage a bit to deal with the lack of sleep with Matthew waking up, and also with having to do more around the house. Golden but often forgotten principle of training is that when your recovery is reduced, you must reduce the stress. William did 0.5, Jacob 1, Joseph 2, Jenny and Julia 3, Benjamin 6.

A.M. 12 miles total. All with the kids. William did 0.5, Jacob 1, Jenny and Julia 3, Joseph 2, Benjamin 8.5. Benjamin and I actually managed sub-8:00 average in spite of the snow and ice.