Breaking the Wall

Day of rest as usual. Went to church. The lesson in Sunday school was on developing talents. The manual talked about Shelly Mann. At the age of 5 she had polio and was put into the swimming class to help her recover. At first she was worse that all the girls in her class who were also recovering from polio. Then she was able to lift up her arms. Then she swam the width of the pool. Then the length. Eventually she won the Olympic gold in butterfly.  The lesson also made me think of Wilma Rudolph and I read about her as well. She came from a family of 22 children, and was number 20. She was born prematurely, survived through a miracle, had severe developmental problems, and could not walk on her own until she was 12. But she overcame all of that and won three Olympic gold medals in 100 meters, 200 meters, and 4x400 relay in 1960.

As I read I pondered and wondered where the Shelly Manns and Wilma Rudolphs are today.  It's been a while since we've seen anything like this. A handicapped child growing up to be an Olympic champion. I think there are several reasons why. One is that there is more competition. 11.18 100 meters does not earn you the Olympic gold anymore today. You will be lucky to make the final.  So a handicapped child with a hidden talent is racing numerous others with equal or greater talent who are not handicapped. Even if he accomplished something equivalent to what Wilma Rudolph did it will not get the same publicity.

Another reason, perhaps more significant, is that back in the 40s, 50s, and 60s we were a nation that aimed for the stars, both figuratively and literally. Since then we have become more cynical and instant-gratification minded.  Families have been eroded. The children are being raised by the public school system more than by their parents and teachers in that system are forbidden to teach spiritual values. Children are not valued, and abortions and birth control have increased. Perhaps the Wilma Rudolph of today has been aborted when some doctor said she would be born with a defect. Or possibly never conceived in the first place. And if she does manage to make it past birth, good luck finding a set of parents that will do what it takes to inculcate the faith it requires to accomplish such a feat.

 There is a lot of talk on the news about the economy. Some people blame Obama, others blame Bush, yet others move the numbers around and blame it on the real estate bubble, stock market bubble, risky loans, immigration, etc. I think they miss the root of the problem. It is the generation X mentality of indolence, instant gratification, and aversion to meaningful challenges. In other words, the problem is that it is highly unlikely that we will see another Shelly Mann or Wilma Rudolph today. Until it is fixed, it does not matter who the president is or what the government does.

A.M. 5 with Benjamin, 1.5 with Julia and Jenny, 1.5 with Joseph, 0.5 with Jacob, and 3.5 alone. Total of 12.

P.M. 2 miles.

A.M. 5 with Benjamin, 1.5 with Joseph and Jenny, and 0.5 with Jacob and Julia. Benjamin and I paced Sarah through 1.25 in 9:55, which is 7:56 pace. This was her first time at sub-8:00 for more than a mile since Stephen was born, and actually I think since William was born as well. Then did 3 more with the last 1.5 in 8:34. Wore an HRM. HR was was 154 at 5:40 pace with 60 F temperature, but the sun started coming out (it was around 9:30 am), so it started to feel a bit warmer than ideal.

A.M. 5 with Benjamin, 1.5 with Joseph and Jenny, 0.5 with Jacob. Julia did not run - had a bit of a flu. Total of 7.

P.M. 2 miles with Sarah on a bike. Pushed Stephen in the stroller.

A.M. 5 with Benjamin, Jeff joined us after about 1 mile. About 3.5 into the run I did a fast 0.5 miles on the trail in 2:21.5 with the splits of 71, 70. Jeff did it in 2:37. It felt good to run at world record marathon pace even though it was for only half mile. I did not have a bear jump on me this time. Actually felt like I could go longer at that pace, but not faster. Drank my "magic" carb drink (molasses sugar, honey, lemon juice, water)  I had prepared earlier as soon as I got home. Then ran 1.5 with Joseph and Jenny, and 0.5 with Jacob.

P.M. Went with Benjamin and my mother to the chess tournament. Benjamin lost one game and won one with the net result of his rating rising to 1574. I drew one and won one with the net result of the rating rising to 1529. Benjamin is now ahead of me although not by far yet. At least I am still improving, although not as fast as him. My mother lost both games. The first one normally, the second she was winning but forgot to pay attention to the clock. She has played chess for a long time, and taught me to play when I was little but she does not have a whole lot of tournament experience. But she is getting some now when she comes to visit.

The tournament was a good psychological tuneup for the marathon. A game of chess will test the depth of your emotional strength even if you think you do not care that much about the outcome. My second game told me that I was doing OK. I noticed my opponents mistakes, but did not get too excited about it, which is easy to do, and when you do you often make a bad move in response. I was able to methodically convert the small advantage into bigger until it became decisive with no blunders on my side that either one of us noticed. This evidence of emotional stability gives me confidence for the marathon. It is much easier to lose in chess off emotions than it is in the marathon, so if the chess side works fine, the running side should as well.

A.M. Benjamin and Jenny were at grandma's house, so I just ran with the younger kids. 1.5 with Julia and Joseph, and 0.5 with Jacob. Then 3 more alone, total of 5.

A.M. Top of Utah Marathon, 2:34:15.9, 4th place, $500.

Stayed with Steve Anderson. He has a big house, so I was able to bring the family. We drove to the finish, then rode to the start, visited the land of Oz where we of course found a congregation of fast runners including Paul.  I located James Moore and Glen Tucker and invited them to participate in trading leads every 3 minutes for as long as it served the benefit of all.

At the start it rained pretty hard, but we were able to hide under the covers to avoid getting wet. Nevertheless the road was wet and the air was humid, and there was a possibility of more rain, so I realised that the original plan for 2:30 might need to get modified even if my fitness would allow it in ideal conditions.

Mile 1 - 5:26.  Paul pulled ahead, I am working together with James, Glen is a few seconds back warming up. I was pleased with that mile because I thought 5:40-5:45 from how it felt.

Mile 2 - 5:35 (11:01). Slowdown expected as it is not as steep as the first one. Let's see what the next one brings. Glen finally caught up and joined the lead trading.

Mile 3 - 5:33 (16:34). From what I remember it is supposed to be a bit quicker. It felt harder than it should have.

Mile 4 - 5:35 (22:09). OK, something is up. I have trained enough in the Provo Canyon and raced enough in the Blacksmith Fork Canyon (this was my 13th Top of Utah Marathon, I've run it every year) to know based on my workout last week that this effort should have produced 5:23-5:25 with the same fitness and conditions, especially tapered and drafting 66% of the time.

Mile 5 - 5:39 (27:48) I explained to Glen and James that something was wrong with me, and they were sufficiently merciful to back off a bit and allow me to draft all the time. Very nice of them considering that 2nd place gets $1000 while the 4th only $500. If we could propagate this attitude into business, I believe this alone would recover our struggling economy. Businesses spend way too much effort trying to trip each other up and it is almost unthinkable for a business to do something nice for their competitor with the approach that I am making myself better by helping my competitor do better.

Mile 6 - 5:44 (33:32) Hanging in there, wondering how long before I get dropped, thankful that James and Glen are willing to be conservative.

Mile 7 - 5:43 (39:15) Surviving.

Mile 8 - 5:43 (44:58) Trying to make the best of it. At least I am reaching some form of fragile stability, if there is such a thing.

Mile 9 - short, 5:24 (50:22). This one is always short, needs to be remeasured and re-marked.

Mile 10 - long, to make up for the short mile 9, 5:58 (56:18). At least still ahead of the 5:40 guy by 22 seconds. Not for long, though.

Mile 11 - 5:44 (1:02:02). Still with Glen and James, trying to survive. 2:30 is out of the window, even though I am still technically on pace, but I am hoping for some damage control at least. Now I think this was an important learning point somewhere between miles 5 and 13. I knew by how I felt that my original goal needed to be adjusted. In fact, somewhere in between those miles I knew that if we got some decent tailwind it might be 2:32 high, same conditions and no major disasters - 2:34, disasters, well let's hope there will not be any. To a certain extent experience takes the excitement factor out of the race. I recall in 2005 while hitting slower splits I was still thinking of 2:30-2:31 at this point. I ended up with 2:39:12. But with more experience I knew what was going to happen to me with quite a bit of precision. So the question was being willing to accept it, and salvage a few seconds by proper pacing and mental toughness. But even though I knew, I still secretly hoped for a positive surprise.

Mile 12 - 5:53 (1:06:55). Guessing somewhat on this split as my memory if fuzzy. Still in the same mode. Can maintain contact with Glen and James with concentration, thankful they are still around.

Mile 13 - 5:28 (1:13:23) That is what the math comes out to based on my official 13 mile split. The pace picked up, but it was probably more around 5:35-5:40. I am probably remembering one of the earlier splits wrong.

Half - 1:13:59. Time to assess things. On average, I have run this race with about 7:00 positive split when no disaster happened. I definitely do not feel like I jogged the first half. In fact, I was hanging off the edge of a cliff from about mile 5. It does feel like you are on the edge of a cliff when a pack is pulling you at the fastest pace you can go. If you lose contact, you will slow down by at least 5 seconds per mile with the same effort if you are lucky, and possibly even 10 - you are off the edge and on your way down. No reason to expect a miraculously fast second half. So that gives me 2:34 high - 2:35 low expectation. Well, let's take it one mile at a time.

Mile 14 - 5:35 (1:18:58). Glen took off. I sensed that James wanted to go with him, but was not fit. Somehow with experience you can sense the level of fitness of the runner next to you. Earlier I observed a surging pattern when he led. That is indicative of cycles of excitement followed by a revelation of the true levels of fuel. From that I knew likely he did not have enough fuel to go with Glen for more than a couple of miles. But even if he did have more strength than he let on, he still could have a good race if he held back to 17 and then gave it a major push. Especially given the fact that we were still ahead of the 5:40 guy. If he really felt that good, he would have no problem running 5:40s from 17 to the finish, which would give him 2:28. So I told him he should stay with me to 17 then give it a push if he had it in him.

Mile 15 - 5:46 (1:24:44). Following James. The pace is far from easy, but I am not crashing yet. The longer I maintain sub-6:00 the less distance I will have to lose the cushion over. Around this point I start playing the game of estimating the finish time if I averaged 7:00 to the finish. At this point it does not cheer my heart at all because 11 miles is a long way to go, and at 7:00 it takes 1:17:00. So that is 2:41:44 at 26 and then there is 385 yards, and it is all uphill too. What cheers my heart, though, is that it takes at least 5 miles to slow down from 5:46 to 7:00, and also that when in good health I do not slow down that much in marathons anymore, and I came to this race in good health. I have struggled with the pace so far, but it was not health-related - more like I am not handling the moisture, so the pace spectrum has shifted 5-10 seconds down everywhere.

Mile 16 - 5:50 (1:30:34). Thankful to still be sub-6:00.

Mile 17 - 5:50 (1:36:24). Another 5:50, will take it.

Mile 18 - 5:56 (1:42:20). James hit the gas pedal during this mile, or so it felt, but it was slower than the others. Not a good sign. Getting ready for "Christmas".

Mile 19 - 6:16 (1:48:36). Merry Christmas to both me and James! It had some significant uphill, though, but I could tell that whatever remnants of the zip I had in the legs earlier were leaving me. But James was feeling even worse around here. I passed him and tried to quietly slip away.

Mile 20 - 6:14 (1:54:50). Still uphill. James recovered, caught up to me, and took the lead. I am having mixed feelings. On one hand I want him to do well. On the other hand, I like $750 more than $500. Yet, James is a poor student and I have a nice job. But I have a wife and seven children to feed. I tell myself, if you really think James needs the money more than you do, then beat him, and give him $250 afterwards. But he will not take it that way because good runners believe in getting what they earned through their own sweat. Yet we've run together for 20 miles and a special bond develops when you work together for that long at top effort. Well, odd thoughts go through your mind when the blood sugar is low. Let's just work together and let the stronger one of us finish ahead.

Mile 21 - 6:05 (2:00:55). Downhill, last nice downhill stretch. I've run this enough to know that 6:05 on that mile means about 39:30 for the last 10 K for me. So in essence I already know my finish time. But yet I am still concerned it could be worse because the thought of having to average low 6:20s with all the turns and rises which seem like large hills when you are in the "zone" sounds like something you might not be able to depend on.

Mile 22 - 6:28 (2:07:23). Lots of turns on this mile. James asked me how I felt. I told him I was surviving. This and the next mile are the most difficult miles of the race psychologically. What I should do is visit Logan a week before the race and run a tempo over the last 10 K to know what to expect. Perhaps even paint marks every 200 meters here so you can give yourself very immediate time goals. On the positive, 7:00 pace gets you to 26 in 2:35:23 to 26. Then another 385 yards. So a disaster that I have not seen for a long time, I think since 2005, still gets me 2:36. That cheered my soul.

Mile 23 - 6:25 (2:13:48). Similar experience to mile 22, except the dim light at the end of the tunnel got brighter.

Mile 24 - 6:10 (2:19:58). This mile had a short downhill stretch, but it was very helpful for mental purposes. Also, James saw somebody coming up on us (Nate Clayson) and it got his competitive spirit revived. He pushed, I tried to go with him, but after a couple of minutes my strength proved insufficient.

Mile 25 - 6:30 (2:26:28). This mile has the uphill on Main street. James is slowly pulling away, but is within striking distance. All it takes us for him to start jogging, which happens sometimes at the end of a marathon.

Mile 26 - 6:27 (2:32:55). James is not quite jogging, and I have zero zip in the legs. It all went into that 6:10 mile trying to keep up. I am however thankful that this marathon is over and I do not have another one planned in two weeks.

Finish - 1:20 (2:34:15). Legs not moving, but at least I am still running at some semblance of a respectable pace. Glad to be done.

So I ended up 4th. Paul won with 2:20:30. Glen was second with 2:30:54. James third with 2:33:53. Nate Clayson 5th with 2:36:08.

Allie won the women with a PR of 2:50:59 which is quite remarkable given non-PR conditions. But when you are in good shape you can still run a PR even in less than ideal conditions.

Benjamin and Jenny ran on their own both Friday and Saturday. Benjamin 3 miles, Jenny 1.5 miles. Julia, Joseph, and Jacob ran with Sarah. Julia and Joseph did 1.5, Jacob 0.5.

Overall, I think I should be happy with the performance even though it was off the 2:30 target. The lack of tailwind was one negative factor. The other, perhaps, was high humidity which I did not handle well for one reason or another - perhaps from having trained in dry air. All I know is that from mile 2 the pace felt wrong, like there was a shift of spectrum by 5-10 seconds per mile, but I was holding it OK. I looked at my report from 2009 when I ran with a heel problem. I made it to the half in 1:13:03, so 56 second faster, and I felt better too. 20 mile split was 1:54:05, still 45 seconds faster. Then the foot problem deteriorated and I wobbled to the finish in 2:35:19, 1:04 slower.  That year I was willing to run as fast as 5:21 mid-race, while this year I experienced the same feelings at 5:33. I do not believe I had more half-marathon fitness then than I did immediately coming into the race. So something was up.

 I decided to try again in Huntsville, AL on December 10th in the Rocket City Marathon, and already started making arrangements. The plan is to fly from Provo to Nashville and rent a car there. The flight will cost a little under $300. The car probably around $50. I wrote to Jon Elmore (Jelmo), and he said I could stay with him. The prize money is $1000 - $750 - $500 - $250 - $250, so there is a chance to recover at least a portion of the cost. But if not, I can handle $350 of expenses occasionally nowadays.  I know the course, it is very fast. A few micro-rollers, but it does not slow you down from what I remember. Unfortunately, last time I ran it I did it one week after running another marathon. I made it to the half in around 1:13:30, held the pace to 18, and then royally blew up finishing in 2:37:25.