FAIL. EPIC FAIL.
you know how when you get done with a race you always think...I could've gone faster. Nope. not a chance. Seriously couldn't have run a second faster today.
Thursday night I was up all night with a croupy baby. Didn't sleep much at all and spent Friday morning at the docs office instead of getting out of town on time. Late dinner once in town, but not too bad. A little Bendaryl and baby was out for the night.
Wake up call came at 3:15 - an hour early. oh well, cell phone alarm was set and I was waking up every hour anyway. Got out to the shuttle and at the meeting point early, perfect. Hotel had a good breakfast and I grabbed a couple apple juices to go - no water and I didn't like that, but it was fine.
Met Raegan, Becca, Karen, Toby, Smooth, Fonz, Teena, Annie, Lowell, Terry and Walter and Danielle at the bus and we rode up together. Honestly, one of the best bus rides. I was pumped and ready to go and had Raegan to keep me going and on pace. It was on - like Donkey Kong!
We were off and hitting good paces with little 'traffic' at the beginning. Felt faster than comfortable, but I just kept telling myself it was just warm-up. Well, it just got worse. Mile 4 I finally let Raegan go. Mile 2 the 3:25 pacers passed us...thats fine, no worries.
Mile 6, the good downhill miles I thought I would finally stop getting passed and catch up to Raegan, still in sight. But, I just kept getting slower. At this point I knew things weren't going to be pretty if I couldn't use the downhill for momentum. Took a gu at mile 7, this should work! Veyo went well and I worked my way up and didn't stop running. Watched splits the next couple miles as I felt like I was pushing through (despite still being passed like I was standing still) the effort certainly wasn't equal the 9:10 pace. Seriously, what was going on with me? Mile 10...I watch the 3:35 pacer fade out into the horizon. Adios dreams and goals, see you next race. Now to just hang on.
By mile 13 it was bad, really bad. I was in h$##, literally. Legs felt tight, heavy, tired and every time I'd stop at an aid station and try to start running again it was horrible, seriously bad - pain, weakness, light headed. I spent 2 minutes seriously contemplating a DNF. I've never done that before. My PF and shin weren't the problem, I don't know what was. I couldn't figure out why I was spontaneously combusting like this - I just couldn't move. Felt like mile 49, not just 24.
It was somewhere in here that I realized I was running looking at the ground. My back and neck HURT. Look up, look around...eyes back to the grind. No! Pick it up, well then I couldn't focus my eyes. I wanted to just shut them and run with them closed. It really wasn't pretty - especially for just past half way.
I decided to just take it aid station by aid station. I would text QP at each one, I needed some reinforcement. When I saw the last big uphill under the overpass at mile 18 (I think it was mile 15-16 I couldn't believe I'd made it that far. Just keep plugging away. Goals are gone, just finish.
Top of the hill a girl was puking. I thought 'I wish I was doing the same' - tummy didn't feel right. I wanted water and fluid, but tummy wasn't feeling the love. Thought about a pop stop, but I didn't want to cross the street. Yeah, it was that bad.
Mile 20 QP called. On speaker phone as I bawled she talked me through the mile and I got to the 21 aid station. I still wasn't sure I'd even make it to the end. I knew 5 miles wasn't that long, but my body seriously did NOT want to move. Smooth, Karen and the 4:00 hour pacers passed me. Told QP I'd call at next aid station, got some fluid and started running again. Well, I then got my wish - I puked. Had a good audience offering water and gatorade "are you okay?" "yes, just keep moving I'm embarrased!" Worst part? almost 2 miles to the water! I was Sooooo thirsty/dry mouth/puke mouth....yuck.
Best part of the marathon came next. Cal passed me. When I said hello I think he was a little surprised, but hung with me. I told him how much I was struggling and he stuck with me to the end. QP called back and I told her I'd picked up Cal and was doing a little better, after a puke! I was SO grateful for Cal. I didn't talk much, but just having someone there to share my journey with was SO great. I knew he wouldn't let me quit. I still wanted to.
Mile 24ish they had free popsicles - bless those people!!! I ran with it for almost the whole next mile. Just being able to put my mouth on something cold when I wanted it really helped. I tried walking just before the popsicles and I couldn't decide what was more painful - walking or running. Legs were just tight, tired, heavy and sore. I'd forgotten about the PF, okay maybe not completely, but it wasn't my first concern at all!!!
Welcome wet washcloth at mile 25! I can do this...I can do this. Just plodding along, one foot in front of the other. I knew this was going to be a fail from mile 6, so lets just get this over with. Cal stuck with me to the very end. I owe him - big time! Between QP's phone support and Cal dragging me to the finish I did it. Just under 4:10, but by that point...who's counting?
I stood under the sprinklers for a few minutes then moved into the runners corral. Dr Pepper was all I drank or ate. Nothing else was doing it for me. I held it together pretty well listening to everyone else's horror stories of the race (which lessened the sting of my fail a little), until I saw Becca. I broke down and just bawled. It was too much, I needed to get it out. Got my Grand Slam medal and shirt, met the family (who were late to see me finish - I'd let hubby know I was going to be closer to 4 hrs about 8 miles ago) and came back to the hotel and took kiddos swimming.
Well, I really honestly don't know what happened. I don't know what went all that wrong. Raegan finished in 3:38, so I know the heat was a factor (he was running strong!!), but there was something else going on. I've been sick with just congestion and I didn't think too much of it, but maybe I have the flu virus that baby has that for him is causing croup. Being in the middle of the flu would certainly cause a combustion like that, but I don't know. I really would like to know what I did wrong and what happened, but I have yet to figure it out.
Right now I'm just counting the fact that I hung in there and finished a successs. I know I couldn't have done any more, I was at my max today. I wanted to be able to say that and have my BQ, but that will have to wait for another day. No use crying over spilt milk. Time to take my family on vacation to Disneyland and enjoy life. There will be another race, and Boston will still be there. If we don't have an Epic fail, we won't know how sweet the success is when it comes.
I don't know my splits, but I can tell you it was a progressive run...fastest to slowest! Hit my first half around 1:50, so you can do the math. | 
