3200m- 10:10 I started out well, but I gave up for some reason...I want to believe in myself SOO badly, but it feels fake and forced when I do try...It was hard after because Coach wouldn't even talk to me...It's hard to not be frustrated when everyone around me is forcing me to be motivated and it feels like I have to please them or I am disappointing them in this case...I want to please myself! You don't think I am not disappointed?? You don't think I give a bigger crap than you?? Of course I do! Huh...I know I can get it if I just believe...I just don't know how to believe without forcing it and faking it...because fake believe has done me no good when the going gets tough in a race...I believe in workouts so why in the world can't I do it in RACES!!!??? 800m- 1st lap (1:02) second lap (1:09). Time- 2:11. I hadn't gotten over my other race yet. |