Relentless

AM -18.75 Twix/CC. Good run with the dog and then into Coral Canyon looped to Telegraph via Lower Grapevine. Boys did pretty well after a busy week last week. Ended with some striders. (Barefoot '15 39)(Peg Black 152)

afternoon - 6 ND. What a difference a few degrees makes. Just under 100, so much nicer than 105+. (Kinvara White 443)

AM - 15.75 Sullivan/Grass. I've come to a very important cross roads in my running and could use advice. I woke up with just the gut feeling that I was done with training - The Circle of Trust had pretty much called our retirement of marathoning at last year's SGM. But in my heart I didn't think I was quite done. So this year I decided to give it one more shot. Although some things are going well, the training just isn't getting me quite where I want to be. So this morning those feelings were really coming out as I took the dog around for a few before meeting up with James for our tempo. I decided that any time that begins with a 4 isn't a great time to try and think rationally and decided to just get to the workout. Started off and just felt junky. Hit the corners at 5:58 and 6:00. Then the Dam Hill hit and I just lost it physically and mentally. James caught up and mentioned my lack of hard breathing. It was true, I had given up. Top of the hill was 6:13. Decided to shut the crap up and get going. Caught back up and got to the bridge at 6:07. But only held at pace through the last section on the river trail. My mind is just racing and I am wondering how come I can have an okay 5k, but can't even tempo with 45 seconds/mile of it. Two big reasons: 1)mileage is very high and wearing me out. 2) I am not fully into it and training to try and be fast is too tough to do when your not into it. So I need to decide which direction do I want to go. I love running a lot. I love running fast. But it seems my age is telling me that both are necessarily conducive to each other anymore. I know my tempo struggles are because I am so tired. Hmmm? I don't know. Ended the morning with some barefooting on the grass for practice. (Barefoot '15 47)(Kinvara grey 85.5)

afternoon - 3.75 Sunrise. Easy afternoon run with the team followed by some weights. (Lyte33 226.5)

AM - 16 Twix/Dirt Mile. Good run with the boys. Solid progression. They have improved greatly on their group running skills. Hopefully they can parley that a little in their racing.

AM - 13. Don't remember the run or shoes. But took the dog out and then ran for practice. After, I took the scouts up Pine Valley on the Forsyth Canyon Trail. A couple weeks ago I ran up this trail in under an hour and a half. It took us 6 hours to hike up it today. In some ways it was cool to push the kids. In other ways it was pathetic. I was literally pushing kids to make them go, lifting them off the ground when they wanted to give up. I even had to unwrap a kid from a tree who said, "Just leave me here." It is sad that an 8 mile hike is the hardest thing these kids have ever done in their lives. Camping up the trail was cool though, and the kids didn't try anything because they were so tired.

0 - spent the day hiking back down then mountain. What an adventure that whole was. It took forever; both up and down. It made me very grateful that I am active and can go out and do things that truly most of the world can't. I will always be that way my whole life, and when I can't it is time to die.

AM - 18.5 Toquerville. Ran home from the Toquerville exit with James and Logan; we were even joined by Billy Boy for the first while. My gut was totally ruined from all the protein bars I ate while hiking the last two days. But I am glad I took them since they didn't provide nearly enough food. The pain in my stomach was so weird and uncomfortable, and it lasted through much of the run. Legs were pretty heavy as well. We just kinda cruised along, but it was a good run. (Peg 492)

The week was what it was. Glad it is over.

Goals for next week: overhaul the body and mind. Don't stress that it isn't all coming at once; everything is a process.