Completely disgusted and frustrated!!! I will write a more detailed report later. Let's just say I totally fell apart. I guess at least I made it through the race.
It's later. I'm still very disappointed, but the original emotion has dissipated. I can look at my race more objectively now. I think Teren stated it best, when he said "your mind is faster than your body right now." He's right. I'm trying to run to my previous fitness, because that is what I think I "should" be running.
Basically, I went out way too hard, put myself in a deficit, and then never mentally or physically recovered. I went 18:00 through the first 5k. No wonder I was already sucking wind at mile 2. It just got worse and worse as the race progressed, and because I was getting discouraged, I never got into a rhythm. In hindsight, the better race plan would have been to go out with the second group of women who started at around 6:00 pace, and raced within that group.
After I started to really struggle, I mentally packed it in. That was the longest second half of a half marathon EVER! I just wanted to be done.
So, the two major mistakes that I made are: going out too hard, and disengaging mentally. I know that my fitness still needs to improve, but I know I am physically able to at least break 1:20. That definitely would have happened today had I raced smarter. My race was actually a 5k race, a 5k tempo, and then a 7 mile jog!
I guess the positive thing is that my achilles held up, though it is very sore now. I finished even though I wanted to quit. (Of course, that might be because I didn't know how else to get to the finish line.) I learned a lot about my true fitness level and my mental state, so I can set goals for the future. I'm even more motivated to train and get myself to where I want to be.
I would post my splits, but they are so embarrassing! | 