Not my greatest race. I'll write more when I have time. Time for track. Caution-long report below.
Did a shakeout in morning. I didn't get much sleep, but it was more than the night before. I just never adjusted to the time. People would tell me to stay up late so I would sleep in, but I would stay up late and wake up at 2-4 AM. That's not good. Anyway, the course should've played into my strengths(hills and it was 8 kilometers instead of 5) but I wasn't as mentally ready today. We got to the course and I warmed up with Eric Hamer. My goal was top-10(possible a bit un-realistic) and if that wasn't happening, sub 25 minutes or top-20. We did our strides and the team was focused. I was a bit over-confident and not ready to work hard.
The gun went off and everyone else did too. It was a quick start, but unlike any race I've ever run, it didn't slow down after 200m. It actually sped up. I got spiked by a Qatar runner, and was stuck in the back. I slowly moved up, but had to run on the outside of the all the turns on the windy course. I got stuck behind a South African barefoot runner because I wanted to be super cautious around him with spikes. I ran a sprint around him at the top of the hill and after the first loop I could start to see the other US guys; Eric, Cerake, and John. I was struggling. I just told myself to hang on until the last loop, then explode and pass a lot of people. I was about 6:07 at 2k and in about 54th place. I moved up on this loop but slowed signficantly. I was about 12:30 at 4k and in 46th place. I had thoughts of dropping out here, but couldn't because that would be betraying my teamates.
The next loop I really had more in me, but emotionally and mentally wasn't there. I know I could've given it more, but I wasn't ready to hurt. I was at 19:00 at the 6k mark. Way too slow. I'd have to kick hard to get my time goal. My place was 35th. There was a big pack ahead of me with John Dressel falling off. I caught up to him and then he saw me and threw in a surge and got back in the pack. I fell off the pack and just passed anyone else who fell off harder than I did. With 600m left I tried to pick it up, but it was hard and mentally I had given up on the second loop, so I wasn't able to really dig deep. I passed two guys with 250m left, but they were mentally ruined too.
After the race I just felt awful. I felt as if I let myself, my family, and teamates down. I haven't given up like this in a race before. I've had days where I'd had trouble pushing it and taken it a step easier, but not like this. I had a lot more left after. My last 4 kilometers were pitiful and while I passed plenty of people, they weren't where they could've been.
Overall, this was a great experience and it motivates me to want to be better. I need to work harder. The Africans destroyed me, and this shows I have a long way to go to be where I want. I'm going to work a lot harder this track season than I ever have.
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