6x1 mile @ current 10k pace off 6o sec's
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Bam
In the mizzle, on the Tralee to Blenerville road, at hign noon under the watchful eye of the Slieve Mish mountains, a bloody battle took place, a battle that saw the pummelling of a human spirit. Bam the big chat pretender took on the venerable workout of the distance legends and he was left humiliated. Crushed. He didn't pay the session the necessary respect. He went out too fancy and too fast and was reduced to a pathetic mess. 6x1 mile @ 10 k pace - what a doddle, he thought, especially the way I'm improving. Ho, ho chaps, it was messy.
3 mile warm up with 6 fancy pants strides. The session: effort 1, 5:32. A tad too fast, he thought, but maybe not. Maybe I'm gonna pull out another one of those sessions that show how well I'm improving. Before he knew it, the 60sec's were up and he was off again.
2, 5:36, that's okay, he thought, that's where I want this session to be, just hang onto that pace and finish with a sub 5:36 and you'll have a nice session. Still panting like a dog in the desert and the 60 sec's have whizzed by. He's cheating now, perhaps 68 sec's rec. He's off.
3, 5:37, and that was harder than it should've been. No time to focus on the session, the 60 sec's are up. Is that 70 sec's? He's off. His mind wanders. His legs feel heavy. Sluggish. The road seems long. He doesn't check the splits. He ploughs on. Forms gone.
4, 5:41. That's shocking. Desperate. That's jogging. He knows it's over. There's no point slogging out a 5:5x and a 6:0x. He's quit. The shame's too much. He looks at the passing cars and trucks for answers, as if the answer's in the eyes of the drivers. Drivers, something I'll never be, he thinks. What's the point? I'm pants.
He jogs back to the gate where he left his trainers and change of clothing. He changes in the mizzle. Embarrassed. He jogs home carrying his flats. Should I even own a pair of racing flats? he thinks.
He passes workers, out getting their lunch. He knows they're thinking, Jakers, that guys running slow. What's the point of that. Some kid dressed in sports gear and a hurley in hand, smiles at him and says, "Hi." I'll give you hi, he thinks. I'll stick that hurley where the sun don't shine, sunshine. But he smiles and glances at the ground. The kid knows that Bam's a quitter.
He makes it home. The house is empty. Milk and a dollop of agave syrup. A banana. Type up this rubbish. Shower. And now he's smiling. Why? Cause he knows that after his lunch he can have something most people can't - a nap. He will not dream about doing 6x1 mile in 5 minutes and 36 poxy seconds. No. He'll dream he's doing 3x2 mile off 30 sec's and each rep will be, le't see now... ah yes, 9:50:)
7:30 p.m. 6 miles easy. Well, I've sold my soul. No, not to the Devil - something far worse. I had a business meeting (like the mtg's Bret has)today and I've sold out. Rather than me waffle on about it, I'll hand you over...
Hello folks. My name's Tiddles Maloney, cub reporter for The Sporting Universe - the biggest selling sports mag in the universe. Yep, we bring you all the news, scoops, in-depth interviews and the Under My Skin features etc etc etc.
Today, of all days, Bam signed a deal to let me get under his skin for the next three years, as he prepares to run sub 2:20 for the marathon at the grand old age of 50:) I'll be with him 24/7 and promise to give you a more objective view of his progress - I've taken over his blog.
Don't worry, I'll report his training etc. But on the non-workout days I'll be getting right under his skin and showing you the real Bam. To kick things off - tomorrow - I'll be asking Bam 20 quick fire, hard-hitting questions. No nonsense. Serious business. To give you a little teaser, here's one of the less intrusive questions:
Is it true that you cheated your way into the final of the English national 3000m championships and if so, how and why?
Let me tell you, chaps and chapettes, I go where lesser men fear to go. I ask the hard questions and demand honesty. Stay tuned and find out the truth about the looper who truly believes that he'll break the world best time for the marathon in the 50 + age group.
Hey, lace 'em up, get out there, and put the miles in your smiles:) | 