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Burt McCumber
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« on: July 05, 2008, 04:47:20 pm » |
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Bloggers LaurenO and Laszlo are set to tie the knot August 30th! Soon they'll be genetically engineering little super runners of their own. If anyone would like to congratulate them or give them wise words of counsel, please do so here. I'm sure they won't be embarrassed to be in the spot light. They are registered at Bed Bath and Beyond if anyone would like to purchase a wedding gift for the happy couple. http://www.bedbathandbeyond.com/regGiftRegistry.asp?order_num=-1&wrn=-1690253902 (Of course, if they call off the wedding, I'm going to feel like a donkey, but that's a risk I'm willing to take.) |
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Lauren
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« Reply #1 on: July 06, 2008, 08:50:44 am » |
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Aw, thanks Burt! Very thoughtful of you to make a post for us!  (And don't worry, we won't be calling it off!) |
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Burt McCumber
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« Reply #2 on: July 12, 2008, 12:03:40 pm » |
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128 views and no responses?? Doesn't anyone have any advice for the young couple? Maybe none of us are happy in our marriages. At least we can fake it so that we don't scare them away from this sacred union. Let me start. One of the most important things you need is communication. Always keep those lines open and don't bottle things up inside. When you're first married, you probably talk all the time about everything. The longer you stay together, the harder it becomes because you've already told each other everything. But stuff happens everyday, so talk about what happened in your day. The other key ingredient in communication and probably the most important is listening. Always listen to what your partner says, and men, don't try to solve their problems for them. Often a woman will vent, and she just wants to unload. The best thing we can do is listen and sympathize. Well, that's my advice. Hopefully we'll get some more comments. BTW, I am quite happy in my marriage; even after 12 years! |
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Sasha Pachev
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« Reply #3 on: July 12, 2008, 01:28:40 pm » |
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Staying happy in marriage is important. So I'll throw in a bit of my advice to the youngersters. I feel odd doing it, as I still feel young enough to run PRs in any distance, and people often misjudge my age (I never get IDed for alcohol purchase, though, because I never buy any). But I ran with somebody today for 14 miles that is young enough to be my son. And I've been married over 11 years and have 5 children with one more one the way. So I suppose that qualifies me to say something.
Do not ask yourself "what does my spouse need to do to make our marriage better". Ask yourself "what do I need to do it make it better". Good marriage is not 50-50, I am done with my part and now it is your turn. It is 100-100, I do what I can until I collapse, and then maybe you pick it up if you have any strength left, and if not I'll understand.
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Dave Holt
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« Reply #4 on: July 12, 2008, 03:59:05 pm » |
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That's one way to do it Sasha... But I do as little as possible and just rely on my stunning good looks to keep Ally around. So far it has worked, although I still can't explain where she goes every few weeks. hummm?
No, seriously...
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Shauna
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« Reply #5 on: July 14, 2008, 02:10:24 pm » |
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Congratulations, guys! My two cents (after four whole years of marriage): keep doing fun things together. I love the fact that my husband and I get equally excited about marathon training. Make sure you still do your own thing sometimes too, though. And, I think having other married couple friends is very important. Marriage is hard enough, so having couple friends is one way to help reinforce your commitment to each other.
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Lauren
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« Reply #6 on: July 14, 2008, 03:22:03 pm » |
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Thanks for the advice everyone!! It's very interesting to hear all the different opinions on how to keep love alive in marriage!
So let's hear it... we already have 2 repliers who have been married over a decade... who has been married the longest on the blog??
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Cheryl Keith
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« Reply #7 on: July 14, 2008, 04:34:19 pm » |
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I've been married 22 years. I think with all the other things that have been said, all good advice, I think you just have to make up your mind that divorce is not an option (absent anything extreme like abuse or adultery.) All marriages have ups and downs and you just have to be able to make it thru the tough times and enjoy the good times. Keep the friendship alive!
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adam
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« Reply #8 on: July 14, 2008, 08:33:01 pm » |
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Been married for slightly over 2 years.
Some of the most important advice I've recieved comes from my dad, who is been an Army Chaplain for over 30 years and specializes in marriage and family counseling.
He has always taught that the four most important things you can say when an argument/problem arises are: I am sorry. I was wrong. Please forgive me. And I love you. Many marriages are broken up because these things are hardly ever said, or said without real intent. Marriages are perserved through meaningful love, compassion, forgiveness, and complete reliance on each other.
Another good thing--when others around you begin to talk bad about their husbands/wives, do not join in. If you would not say it with them nearby, do not say it at all. The most important person in your life should never be demeaned for the sake of others' acceptance.
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